If there’s one thing we know about the Kardashians, besides the fact that they can turn anything into fund, it’s that they always find a reason to throw a party. This week, Kylie and her BFF Stassie Karanikolaou( can’t she just be Stassie K ?) get pairing Lasik eye surgery, which is apparently a thing now, and decided to celebrate by wearing really weird latex full-dress embellished with eyeballs. I’m all for observe reasons to defendant, but I’m still kind of flustered. I have parallelling friendship pendants with my BFF, and other more hardcore BFFs I know have according tattoos they already regret. But parallelling Lasik eye surgery? I don’t get it. Well, whatever, I approximate there are things billionaire BFFs understand that we regulars don’t. Maybe if Kylie had the surgery a year ago, she would’ve seen Jordyn Woods’ betrayal coming. Oh, that’s not how Lasik duties? Never mind.
Obviously, Stassie documented the whole surgery, so that the nations of the world knows she has officially taken Jordyn’s place as Kylie’s number one BFF and will never throw it back. She posted a pointless video of her and Kylie sitting in the chairs of the operating room right after surgery where Kylie’s sees are closed. Aww, poverty-stricken Kylie is trying to rise and shine, but is just too spent. You knew that was coming. If I don’t make a joke about Kylie trying to rise and shine, who are able to? Oh right, the entire rest of the internet.
At the follow-up doctor’s appointment, the girls learn that they have 20/15 perception( better than 20/20 ), which I didn’t know was a thing, but good for them. Maybe now they can see the wonky threads when they’re Facetuning their photos. Hopefully they don’t suffer any of the negative Lasik side effects, which are capable of include igniting and even temporary blindness. How will Kylie be able to tell apart her cheek equipment colors if she loses her imagination ??
Anyway, the BFFs threw a party to celebrate the birth of their newly-perfect eyesight( yes you read that correctly ). They took videos of themselves in the bathroom mirror wearing tight pink latex dress, which I still can’t get over.
Does nobody else think it’s foolish to get parallel gaze surgery and then fling a party for their sight’s birthday? You can even listen Kylie in the background yelling, “My sight has been born; it’s my f* cking birthday.” Wait, so if the eyebrow hair I plucked last week thrives back, has it been born, extremely? Does that aim I can shed a party? Ugh, the amount of money these girls have to waste is literally my dream. I don’t know for certain, but my thought is that Kylie and Stassie get other secret surgeries together all the time( like boob jobs and lipo and belly button reconstruction) and precisely decided to share this one because they can get away with calling it “medical” rather than solely cosmetic.
Apparently, friends who do Lasik eye surgery together, stick together! Unless Stassie fucks it up like Jordyn did. In which suit, a different BFF will swoop in and Kylie will have to figure out another way to observe their friendship. Matching beach houses in the Hamptons, perhaps? Matching puppies? Matching toenails? Whatever it is, you can bet your bottom dollar Kylie will hurl a party for it.
Images: Shutterstock; kyliesnapchat/ Instagram
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