If there’s one thing we know about the Kardashians, besides the fact that they can turn anything into fund, it’s that they ever find a reason to throw a party. This week, Kylie and her BFF Stassie Karanikolaou( can’t she exactly be Stassie K ?) went coinciding Lasik eye surgery, which is apparently a thing now, and decided to celebrate by wearing really weird latex getups decorated with eyeballs. I’m all for detect reasons to party, but I’m still kind of confounded. I have matching friendship necklaces with my BFF, and other more hardcore BFFs I know have pairing tattoos they already regret. But matching Lasik eye surgery? I don’t get it. Well, whatever, I guess there are things billionaire BFFs understand that we regulars don’t. Maybe if Kylie had the surgery a year ago, she would’ve seen Jordyn Woods’ betrayal coming. Oh, that’s not how Lasik studies? Never mind.
Obviously, Stassie documented the whole surgery, so that the world knows she has officially taken Jordyn’s place as Kylie’s number one BFF and will never sacrifice it back. She posted a pointless video of her and Kylie sitting in the chairs of the operating room right after surgery where Kylie’s sees are closed. Aww, poor Kylie is trying to rise and shine, but is just too depleted. You knew that was coming. If I don’t make a joke about Kylie trying to rise and shine, who will? Oh right, the entire rest of the internet.
At the follow-up doctor’s appointment, the girls learn that they have 20/15 imagination( better than 20/20 ), which I didn’t know was a thing, but good for them. Maybe now they can see the wonky pipelines when they’re Facetuning their photos. Hopefully they don’t suffer any of the negative Lasik side effects, which are capable of include burning and even temporary blindness. How will Kylie be able to tell apart her cheek kit shades if she loses her eyesight ??
Anyway, the BFFs hurled a party to celebrate the birth of their newly-perfect eyesight( yes you read that properly ). They took videos of themselves in the bathroom reflect wearing close-fisted pink latex attires, which I still can’t get over.
Does nobody else think it’s foolish to get matching eye surgery and then discard a party for their sight’s birthday? You can even sounds Kylie in the background yelling, “My sight has been born; it’s my f* cking birthday.” Wait, so if the eyebrow hair I plucked last week proliferates back, has it been born, extremely? Does that mean I can hurl “states parties “? Ugh, the amount of money these girls have to waste is literally my dream. I don’t know for certain, but my theory is that Kylie and Stassie get other secret surgeries together all the time( like boob jobs and lipo and belly button reconstruction) and only decided to share this one because they can get away with calling it “medical” rather than only cosmetic.
Apparently, friends who do Lasik eye surgery together, stick together! Unless Stassie fuckings it up like Jordyn did. In which event, a different BFF will swoop in and Kylie will have to figure out another way to tag their friendship. Matching beach rooms in the Hamptons, perhaps? Matching puppies? Matching toenails? Whatever it is, you can bet your bottom dollar Kylie will hurl a party for it.
Images: Shutterstock; kyliesnapchat/ Instagram
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