Here`s another great article:
Tl;dr at the bottom, but if you believe in your insight, I'd sincerely appreciate if you took the time to read
My (25m) Pomeranian puppy is soon 6 months old. I'll call him A. He knows many tricks, amongst them "Burrito" where he runs to a blanket and turns himself into a fluffy burrito. We've done several full walks without a leash and he's been responsive and obedient when doing so. Had his first night sleeping with me in my bed successfully, albeit with some protections. I think he's objectively a great dog for being just 6 months, please put my feet down on the Earth again if you think this isn't really that much.
He's been only with me up until last week, and living in the 5th floor has been a challenge and a lot of work with house training. I've worked my ass of with him, and we've gotten to a good point where we can do with 4-5 walks / day. He's super social, loves both dogs and people alike.
Some days ago I came back home to my parents for mostly corona and also some personal reasons. My family, both parents and sibling (f23), bought another pomeranian for themselves. I'll call him Z. They played along together like most dogs, no issues there.
My issue is how my family is raising Z. He is now 16 weeks old. He does not have a crate, there are peeing mats around where he sleeps and 2 or more mats laid out elsewhere. From where Z usually is, it's 5 meters to the outside grass. The other day, Z did a behavior for which I chose to intervene, and I could then see how fragile he is. I barely touched him, if he wanted to walk away from the way I "held" him, he could have, his fur would have slipped out with ease. He screamed, and screamed, and screamed. My mother and sister coddle him relentlessly. Baby talk 24/7, no assertiveness or displays of dominance towards him, he's given large pieces of treats on a regular basis, and when he does negative behaviors like peeing inside or chewing on furniture etc, they speak in full-length sentences with a soft pitch and lower themselves as far to the ground as they can while remaining on their feet, stroking him like he's feeling sorry for himself.
A has had an obvious regression in his potty training since we came back. When he was upstairs, the blame game to which dog started right away. My family is pathologically stubborn, and Z takes a piss every time he sees me even though he comes over to lick my toes, but they refuse to accept that Z pees inside A LOT. They coddle A in the same way, negative behaviors are met with the same pittying-attitude, and same sizes of treats are given. A has definitely started to pee more inside since he came here, and I believe it's because the top floor where they are stinks like piss because there is pee there all the time. Smell toilet use toilet. My mother is adamant that that cannot be the case, because "she cleans" and refuses to acknowledge that there can be urine anywhere. Z also lies down in his urine. The other day, I witnessed that he turned on his back and started actively peeing on himself. That has now happened 3 times. My family refuses to believe that's true (aka I'm lying), and if he did it's because I scared him that time, and that's the most important part for them; that I scared him, not that the puppy is lying on his back and letting his own urine flow all over him.
I think my family is actively harming the development of Z, and that its having a negative effect on A. But I can't be with him 24/7, and so he's regressed downstairs too, having two occasions of peeing inside which I believe was from the frustration of hearing everything going on outside and upstairs.
I'm keeping him downstairs with me because I believe he is too young to not be detrimentally affected by the type of environment they have upstairs. I want an obedient, solid and confident Dog, who is able to behave properly, obey when commanded, and play to his hearts content. Upstairs I think his brother will end up as a spoiled, fragile coward who needs continuous protection from my family to function.
If they removed the pissing mats which are essentially floor-diapers, and thoroughly cleaned the floor I'd be willing to have A upstairs as long as I am there so I can regulate how he's interacted with, but like I said, my family is pathologically stubborn, and being a medical student, biomedical scientist and have 4 years working in an acute clinical psychiatric ward for affective disorders which includes delusions, paranoia and OCD, I don't say pathologically for the fun of it.
Tl;dr: My puppy has had an obvious regression in his potty training since meeting my family, and I believe the environment they create is damaging to the development of my puppy, so I am keeping him downstairs and away from both that environment and them
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