Why You Shouldn’t Swipe Right On A Guy With A Dog In His Profile Photo

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Ask any girl, and she’ll tell you there are unspoken patterns aboutwhat mencan and can’t put in a dating profile.

First, heshouldnever include a photo ofhimself with other women. Whether she’s your sister, cousin or friend, we’ll ever assume that she’s a girl you’re screwingand swipe left.

Second, your primary photo can’t be a group shooting. Women don’t like playing suspecting recreations. Besides, we’ll ever assume you’re the least attractive one in the photo and swipe left.

Finally, if “youve had” domesticateds of any kind, always include them in your main photo. Fluffs add a million sex appeal details. A puppy will cancel out any shortcomings, like the fact that he’s Shrek’s remote cousin or has a pirate hook for an arm.

Except puppies suction.

OK , not the actual puppies, but the men that hamper them. Listen me out.

I swipe on a oodle guys a daylight. I year a respectable sum of them, too. But almost every person I’ve ever swiped on because I was into his pup was a big jerk.

It’s not that I don’t like dogs. I enjoy puppies and even have one of my own. But puppy-baiting, the purposes of the act of luring me in with your 6-month-old pound save, is exclusively going to get you a left swipe in my journal. That’s no matter what some studies say.

First of all, its perhaps not even his dog.

I once went on a date with a guy who’d posed with a dog that wasn’t even his. When I came over his plaza and asked about where his pup was, he told me that the pooch belonged to his “ve been waiting for” it girlfriend. He was clearly a sociopath and developments in the situation was more or less unique, but genuinely, who does that?

Not that many people in New York City have pups. There’s statistically no way all the dogs I spot in profile photos belong to the guys bracing them.

Hes compensating for something else.

He’s not just trying to show off his soft slope. That hound whether it’s his or not is working to distract you from whatever crazy he’s hiding.

Puppies are like a drug. Onceyou meet one, you forget the guy on the other aim of the leash is actually a serial killer or whatever. Puppies constitute you dazzle to a person’s negative calibers because you’re already “ve been thinking about” future developments puppy nestles and look licks and paths in puppy parks with other pups.

Guysthinkit’s this huge secret trick.

There are entire clauses out there talking about how to get more chicks to swipe right on dudes, and their number one gratuity? Throw a bird-dog in your profile photo because chicks delve dogs.

Vaginaville hopefuls, assemble F* ckboy Island, which is whatI’m shedding you off when I see you nuzzling your four-legged friend.

Your Tinder match didn’t post that photo with his pooch because he thinks he looks good in it he posted it because he thinks it’s his one-way ticket to Vaginaville.

Also, leave exotic swine alone.

Yeah, tough guy, it takes a lot of machismo to pet a sedated tiger or to chill with a fake lion. I’ve never met a guy who chills with endangered species whowasn’t a bag of dicks, so take that admonition nonetheless you please.

The only circumstance worse than this are people whopose with swine they just killed, like that dentist whokilled Cecil the lion. Forget swiping left — I’d swipe right precisely to tell him that he deserves the same fate as that good animal he just murdered.

I love puppies. I likewise enjoy men. The two of them together? Good situation I have my own dog to keep me company.

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