Why Is Landon Clements So F* cking Thirsty?

/ by / Tags:

We attained it to another week of. Last-place week there was a VooDoo doll and Craig did embroidery while Shep did yoga, and if youre simply assembling we are currently for some reason, I swear I didnt stir that up. But tbh that sounds like what I would dream about if I accidentally fell asleep watching Unless … that what happened, and you’re all living in my dream right now ?? K, you’re right, too much. Onto the recap.

Kathryn shows up to Elizabeth and J.D.s and I must have missed the episode where they opened up a daycare. Like, how many teenagers do these people have?

Also Kathryns looking like a 1980 s Spice Girl with that pouf and those laces. Honey, that is a mess. Scavenge it up.

Kathryn debris no time running tea. Anddd this is why I secretly adoration her.

Elizabeth: How come you didnt going to see Jennifers sip and look?

Kathryn : I wasnt invited and likewise she had an liaison with Thomas while I was pregnant.

JD and Elizabeth do not react to this at all. So I predict this is something I should have recollected? I cant even keep track of all the people Kathryn accuses of fucking Thomas anymore.

JD requires Kathryn and Thomas to employed their differences aside and be civil, voicing like every Trump supporter rn.

Meanwhile Shep is going on a drain because hes health now. Shep be like 😛 TAGEND

Shep : I ran over here Dude, we are only saw you run like, 5 steps. That does not count.

Shep wants to go quail hunting because this show isnt white enough already. Theyre going to a town outside of Savannah do I smell a crossover? Im gonna be pissed if I get roped into watching. You guys already did it with, I will not fall for that again.

Craig is at home printing motifs and shit and Naomie comes in and is like Do you wanna talk about the weekend? and Craig is like I have shit to do.

Naomie : I merely want you to say youre sorry.

Craig: I dont make I did anything wrong tho.

Naomie : You do not speak like that to me ever again.

Naomie tells Craig she doesnt want to speak to Craig about the above issues until theres a mentor who can tell you youre in the wrong. Uhh , not how counseling is supposed to necessarily duty. I actually can’t tell who’s in the wrong here.

Naomie says the best thing to do when youre in a rough spot is to get away. Pretty sure thats a frightful theory. Either you temporarily forget all your problems and have a knot of vacation sexuality or you fight the whole day and before you know it, youre breaking up at the Tomorrowworld campsite.

Oh uh sorry that was just a entirely random lesson that did not happen to me at all.

Meanwhile, Austen’s preparing for this quail hunting trip-up.

Austen: I was elevated a city boy.

Uh arent you from like fucking Delaware, buster?* Checks* Okay, you’re from D.C.

Whitney doesnt think there are snakes in Georgia like you are not that far from Georgia. Youre driving distance. Its not like you have a totally different ecosystem.

Shep merely called Chelsea Austens paramour. New boozing competition: Take a shot each time Shep applies a word you dont understand. Pace on up, dont be shy. And for the purposes of this play it does not count if you only know paramour because of Paramore. Take two shots.

Landons at Patricias room because…reasons.

Landon : Ill have a bourbon slushie. Patricia : Well if youre having one, Ill have one precisely to be polite.

^ Me anytime someone orders a drink.

Patricia tells Landon Thomas said he wouldnt build Landon sign a prenup if they were to get married. Patricias like I think thats sweet.

Say what? They havent even gone on a appointment yet and yall are talking prenups?

Thomas cant be around guns because hes a delinquent. Oh okay, so when Kathryn does a line of coke shes a degenerate and horrid mother, but when Thomas has a felony conviction its merely well adults have questions? Anyone who thinks they dont need feminism, Id like to kindly direct you right the fuck here.

Patricia : If you dont take risks and you settle for the status quo, you lead a life of quiet desperation.

Whoa. Thats deep. Im gonna embroider that mention and hang it above my bed.

I wonder how Whats-His-Name is gonna been thinking about how Landons debating a relationship with Thomas while shes still technically dating that adolescent. Thats pretty cold.

Chelsea : I like a human in a good truck. Too Chelsea, possibly : I simply hang out with guys because daughters are too much drama. She and Austen are basically engaging in dirty talk while everyone else is in the back seat like 😛 TAGEND

Ah, you kids continue me young. God affection ya!

Cameran: Shep, when you think about Chelsea do you get a tingle in your britches?

I can understand why you would think I obligated that up, but THAT IS A DIRECT QUOTE. Cameran should be a mom if for no other ground than the facts of the case that she envelops everything with strange and immature-sounding euphemisms.

Craig depicting up to shoot quail in a frat tank is very me. I can relate.

If I were on this hunting I would just play with the puppies and make friends with the quail tbh.

I mean whatever Im not about to recap this circle-jerk of a chase journey.* takes a snap to refill wine glass*

Annnnd were still on this. Awaiting for something interesting to happen like

Craig: I dont want Naomie airing our dirty laundry

Craig* 2 minutes into this shooting expedition *: So Naomie left me when I was in the shower can you guys fucking believe that?

Naomie says I simply dont wanna be transformed into Thomas and Kathryn .. would making a birth control joke be low-hanging fruit?

Shep goes one week without booze and is already doing roadies in Solo bowls to take to dinner. You did it …?

Whitney : Nicely lit, thats great.

^ Further proof Whitney is like, 60 years old. Who tf were concerned about how well-lit the atmosphere is?

HOLY SHIT, CAMERAN IS SO FUCKING NOSY. Does Chelsea give you a hard-on? Are you guys sleeping in the same room or different areas? Like JFC this shit is annoying. She acts like shes so proper and like, above everyones drama when she is alwayyyssss all up in their business. Well I am onto it!

Ugh WTF Landon is completed Austen. This is very strange to watch. But I guess its because Landon is wasted. Guess she has a type, and that type is too fucking young for her. Yeesh. Whoever said last season that Landon is your drink embarrassing aunt was SPOT FUCKING ON.

Shep : Eating dinners that you shot the working day. Thats what its all about.

Sure, buddy.

Damn Landon is THIRSTY AF. The the reduction of this are incredible. This is like Ivanka thirsting after Justin Trudeau level, only Landons thirst is directed at everyone. Commit Bravos revising squad a raise.

Elizabeth says Hey Kathryn is truly working on herself, we need to give her two seconds occasion and everyone is like Nah fuck Kathryn she doesnt deserve that. Um excuse me, yes she does? She is the mother of such children she more than anyone deserves two seconds opportunity ??

When in doubt, get the bourbon out Thomas and me whenever Im uncomfortable.

Shep : Hey what if your dick changed each year and when you died it was just too big?

Thomas: Then Id already be dead.

Me: * kills self*

Everyone is squandered so Austen and Chelsea dip.

Whitney : Hey Austen! Dont come too fast! Whitney, following the end of he said that, possibly : HA! Did you guys hear that? I said Dont come too fast! Get it?* cracks up at his own laugh for three solid instants*

I would literally commit suicide if I woke up and fucking Bravo cameras were in my face with some bend chicka wow wow music playing in the background. I is in fact succumbing of secondhand humiliation right here.

Austen : So “think youre gonna” tell everybody that we just fucked or nah? Chelsea : I think were on the same sheet relationship-wise. Austen : Yeah, for damn sure. Chelsea : We both like our independence.

Austen: Wait what?

I conceive I hear the record rub in Austen’s mind.

Chelsea doesnt require a relationship and Austen does. This is a fucking win for feminism right here, kinfolks. Pack it up, marchers. Going to go, Gillibrand and Warren. Weve done it. Weve attained gender equality!

Read more: www.betches.com