Amber Rudd. Picture: Hannah Mckay/ Reuters
The mention of Theresa Mays most probably successor is an anagram of Bad Murder
If May is overthrew the summer months either on a fissure above Klosters by some of Barmy Barniers ski-masked lackeys or, most likely, by the Conservative 1922 Committee then Amber Rudd is tipped replace her, even though the home secretary is about as fit for purpose as Joey Barton is for becoming a galctico . Still, at least she would be better than the evident buffoon that is Boris Johnson. Better Britain is helmed by PM Bad Murder than this gaffe-prone berk( Johnson lost his uniting ring within an hour of getting married ), inventor of excerpts( for which he was fired from the Times ), witless calumniser of scousers, witless calumniser of Papua New Guineans and most incompetent foreign ministers since Lord Halifax.
The Farage farago is, digits swept, over
There is good news. We never need use the phrase Strewth, Paul Nuttall is on the radio talking cobblers again, thanks to Ukips dismal electoral achievement. Plus, Farage, his predecessor, has realised his true vocation not acquiring the post-truth case for Brexit, but getting on his knees and smooching when in the vicinity of the 45 th US chairpeople possibly unspeakable derriere. He has called Trump amazing and superb and claimed that the president had some good beings behind him, such as Kellyanne Conway. You remember Conway, the aide who expended the term alternative information to apologize colleague Sean Spicers lies. Fine judge of character.
Its not only Theresa May who is doing an parody of Tigger unbounced
Reflecting on her partys ballot loss of 21 Westminster seats, Nicola Sturgeon, the SNP leader, seemed pleasingly glum as she conceded that her plans for the worlds worst neologism, Indyref2, were undoubtedly a factor in the disappointing ensues. Sturgeon had hoped for a second sovereignty referendum in 2019, so Scotland could elude the hard Brexit she feared Mays government would impose, like a sissy, sneaky Sassenach trick on her proud Braveheart-like parties, but, when she makes a statement next Tuesday on the question, shes likely to step back from that fanciful timetable.
They read Rhyl is very nice this time of year
Ever since the referendum upshot, the pound has been buying fewer euros or dollars and currency experts believe its appraise will remain in the long term at the least 10% below what it was this time last year. Which intends, apart from anything else, and altogether unacceptably, Im paying more for my Italian truffle oil than ever. Its also why Marmite overheads more, although, given that Marmite delicacies like a sweaty crotch mixed with beef obtain, I can live with that. One obvious corollary is that we must forget Florida, the Cte dAzur or Umbria this summer, and instead embrace the staycation, rediscovering our Churchillian bulldog flavour for crusading gulls for the last of our chips on windswept north Wales beaches as unstoppable cyclones wail in from the Irish Sea.
The difference between hard and soft clarified( finally !)
A hard Brexit would be likely to see the UK throw in full access to the single market and the customs union, with the bonus that we are capable of defer European Johnny Immigrants to cavity rummages at Stansted before rendering them on the next flight to Dsseldorf. By compare, soft Brexit would involve us getting inexhaustible quilted toilet rolls and cute puppies in exchange for acknowledging more immigrants than you can shake a stick at. Simply kidding. Soft Brexit means we might follow a same course to Norway, which is a member of the internal market and has to accept the free movement of parties as a result.
Which of these we get, hard or soft, is uncertain but, given that the EU negotiating team seems akin to a ruthless, spirited and enviably joined Jamaican 4×100 communicate unit and their British counterparts resemble a fractious, red-faced, bumbling PTA tug-of-war team called into action after wasting too much time in the school fete Pimms tent, I wouldnt be anticipating good news.
That said, let me request this: youve speak Karl Ove Knausgrds unstoppably self-indulgent multi-volume memoirs. Doesnt that put you off aspiring to mimic Norwegians? Me, too.
The rocky superhighway to Dublin just got rockier
May does she is committed to a frictionless, seamless mete between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. This, like other Maybot tropes such as Brexit intends Brexit, or strong and stable, or Im absolutely clear about this, represents less and less at the longer you think about it. If there is still no passport checks at the Irish border post-Brexit, Ireland could become a back entrance for EU immigrants wishing to come to the UK. That would make a mockery of Mays aim of get in-migration down to a sustainable level, which she defines as being below 100,000 a year. This is an aspiration she does she wants to fulfil, since it is one assignment she took from the Brexit vote. If passport checks are instituted at the Irish border, that would serve to undermine the Good Friday accordance, which purposed the Troubles virtually 20 years ago. Since then the border has become marvellously invisible rather than dotted with nervous, tooled-up squaddies in watchtowers, which was no way to carry on.
Its quite the moderately old-fashioned pickle, isnt it? There is an Irish story that is useful here. A operator questions a passerby how to get to Dublin. If I wished to go to Dublin, passes the respond, I wouldnt start from here.