Amber Rudd. Photo: Hannah Mckay/ Reuters
The epithet of Theresa Mays most probably successor is an anagram of Bad Murder
If May is unseated the summer months either on a crack above Klosters by some of Barmy Barniers ski-masked lackeys or, most likely, by the Conservatives 1922 Committee then Amber Rudd is tipped replace her, even though the minister of the interior is about as fit for purpose as Joey Barton is for becoming a galctico . Still, at the least she would be better than the evident buffoon that is Boris Johnson. Better Britain is helmed by PM Bad Murder than this gaffe-prone berk( Johnson lost his wedding ring within an hour of getting married ), inventor of quotations( for which he was fired from the Times ), witless calumniser of scousers, witless calumniser of Papua New Guineans and most inept foreign secretary since Lord Halifax.
The Farage farago is, fingers spanned, over
There is good news. We never need use the word Strewth, Paul Nuttall is on the radio talking cobblers again, thanks to Ukips dreary electoral accomplishment. Plus, Farage, his precede, has realised his true job not seeing the post-truth event for Brexit, but getting on his knees and smooching when in the vicinity of the 45 th US chairpeople probably horrible derriere. He has called Trump amazing and superb and claimed that the president had some good people behind him, such as Kellyanne Conway. You remember Conway, the aide who used the expression alternative details to apologize colleague Sean Spicers lies. Fine judge of character.
Its is not simply Theresa May who is doing an parody of Tigger unbounced
Reflecting on her partys referendum loss of 21 Westminster fannies, Nicola Sturgeon, the SNP leader, gazed pleasingly glum as she conceded that her plans for the worlds worst neologism, Indyref2, were undoubtedly a factor in the disappointing outcomes. Sturgeon had hoped for a second independence referendum in 2019, so Scotland could evade the hard Brexit she feared Mays authority would impose, like a sissy, sneaky Sassenach trick on her proud Braveheart-like people, but, when she makes a statement next Tuesday on the question, shes likely to step back from that fanciful timetable.
They speak Rhyl is very nice this time of year
Ever since the referendum make, the pound has been buying fewer euros or dollars and currency experts believe its value will remain in the long term at least 10% below what it was this time last year. Which entails, apart from anything else, and altogether unacceptably, Im more for my Italian truffle oil than ever. Its also why Marmite expenses more, although, considering the fact that Marmite flavours like a sweaty crotch mixed with beef extract, I can live with that. One obvious corollary is that we must forget Florida, the Cte dAzur or Umbria this summer, and instead espouse the staycation, rediscovering our Churchillian bulldog being for campaigning gulls for the last of our chippings on windswept north Wales beaches as unstoppable gales roar in from the Irish Sea.
The difference between hard and soft explained( ultimately !)
A hard Brexit would be likely to see the UK dispense with full access to the single market and the customs union, with the bonus that we are capable of submit European Johnny Immigrants to cavity pursuits at Stansted before reverting them on the next flight to Dsseldorf. By compare, soft Brexit would necessitate us getting inexhaustible quilted toilet rolls and cute puppies in exchange for acknowledging more immigrants than you can shake a stick at. Merely kidding. Soft Brexit means we might follow a same route to Norway, which is a member of the single market and has to accept the free movement of parties as a result.
Which of these we get, hard or soft, is unclear but, given that the EU negotiating team seems akin to a ruthless, spirited and enviably joined Jamaican 4×100 communicate squad and their British equivalents resemble a fractious, red-faced, bumbling PTA tug-of-war team called into action after investing too much time in the school fete Pimms tent, I wouldnt be anticipating good news.
That alleged, let me expect this: youve read Karl Ove Knausgrds unstoppably self-indulgent multi-volume memoirs. Doesnt that put you off aspiring to mimic Norwegians? Me, too.
The rocky road to Dublin just got rockier
May mentions she is committed to a frictionless, seamless border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland. This, like other Maybot tropes such as Brexit symbolizes Brexit, or solid and stable, or Im absolutely clear about this, entails fewer and less at the longer you think about it. If there remain no passport checks at the Irish border post-Brexit, Ireland could become a back door for EU immigrants wishing to come to the UK. That would make a mockery of Mays aim of get in-migration down to a sustainable stage, which she defines as being below 100,000 a year. This is an aspiration she says she wants to fulfil, since it is one lesson she took from the Brexit vote. If passport checks are instituted at the Irish border, that would serve to undermine the Good Friday agreement, which resolved the Troubles nearly 20 years ago. Since then the border has already become marvellously invisible rather than scattered with anxious, tooled-up squaddies in watchtowers, which was no way to carry on.
Its quite the reasonably old pickle, isnt it? There is an Irish story that is useful here. A operator expects a passerby how to get to Dublin. If I wished to go to Dublin, succeeds the reply, I wouldnt start from here.