Textbook From A Guy That Can Be Cute Or Creepy Depending On If You Like Him

/ by / Tags: , , , , , , ,

Sorry, soldiers, but if a girl isn’t into you, you can’t win.

Take it from a girl who happens to be extremely creepy. I can get the exact same verse from two different young boys and detect two COMPLETELY different things.

A “hi” from a boy I’m into has the power to make my day, buta “hi” from a boy I’m not very interested in stimulates me want to throw up in tinfoil and eat it, then hurl it back up and wrap it in another tin foil wrapping, then eat it again…and so on and so on for the rest of eternity.

If you don’t quite understand what I’m talking about, read this list for yourself. Envision how your texts fare with a girl who likes you and a girl who has no those who are interested in you whatsoever.

In a room, you should take this information as a backing. Cast whatever the f* ck you want. If a girl’s into you, she’ll be into it. And if a girl’s not into you, a text theme isn’t going to change her mind.

The “I miss you”

If she is into you : OMG, he misses me !! He actually, actually misses me !! Do I tell him I miss him very ..? I wonder if he misses me as MUCH as I miss him( is that even possible )?

If she is not into you : F* ck. Appears like we’ve got a Stage Five Clinger on our hands. Get that emoji out of my appearance before Ivom even more than I already am. We have known each other for 48 hours. You do not miss me.


The L-bomb

If she is into you : F* ck. YES !!! He said it firstly, so I don’t feel like a total stupid. But OMG, HE LOVES ME! HE REALLY REALLY LOVES ME !!!

If she is not into you : WTF ?! How do I go about get a restraining notice …?


The TMI

If she is into you : OMG … I can’t believe he was able to be so susceptible with me. I repute my soul simply melted.

If she is not into you : So do I forward this nutcase my therapist’s quantity or what?


The tenderness that are just blatantly not mutual

If she is into you : No , not at all! I seem the exact same way.

If she is not into you : Yes. It is f* cking strange. Please stop texting me.


The eager beaver

If she is into you : OMG, do I have to change clothings, or is it kosher to wear the same clothe if we’re doing two years in one day …?

If she is not into you : Tonight I am looking into how to file a restraining notice against you, you f* cking creep.


The one who precisely “knows”

If she is into you : Um … SWOON !! I knew he was “The One.”

If she is not into you : BLOCK! BLOCK! Literally cannot impede this psychopath soon enough.


The thing that prepared him think about you

If she is into you : AWWWWW, he remembered that I utterly enjoy puppies. Plus, is he kind of also announcing me cute? I feel like he is … OMG.

If she is not into you : Why the f* ck do these pups remind you of me? Take your irrelevant pics and emojis and GTFO of my inbox, please and thank you.


The end-of-the-weekend check-in

If she is into you : Man, I wish he would have texted me DURING the weekend so we could have investigated each other. But still, so cute that he CARES.

If she is not into you : Do I tell him about the three guys I slammed, or am I supposed to care about this dweeb’s appears?


The one who just wants to hold you

If she is into you : I please he could be here to snuggle me more! Do I tell him I haven’t water-washed my expanses since he last-place slept over just so I could take in his fragrance? Or is that creepy?

If she is not into you : I would rather have a serial killer hop into bed with me right now than you get your grimy paws all over me.


The big spender

If she is into you : Can hearts actually defrosted? Because I ponder I literally detect my centre defrosting inside of me right now.

If she is not into you : Oh, so when did I become a call girl?


Thelike that isn’t a “like”

If she is into you : OMG, he liked my prof pic so much better that he felt the need to actually TELL me !?!?!? Day. Made.

If she is not into you : Is it too harsh to stymie him from Facebook ANDmy phone?


The one who continues tabs

If she is into you : Thank GOD he got the indications I was droppingeverywhere over social media. YES, I’m back in the city!

If she is not into you : If I required you to know I was in the city, did it ever span your attention that I would, IDK, tell you ?!


The “wish you were here” text

If she is into you : Me very …</ 3.

If she is not into you : HAH! If I could make a register of everywhere I want to be in the entire world right now, with you are able to MAYBE come in 5789438 5th. And even then, likely not.


The begger

If she is into you : Really cute that he wants me to come over even worse!

If she is not into you : Is he drunk …? I hope for the sake of his own glory that he’s drunk.


The chef

If she is into you : SO ROMANTIC !! OMG OMG !! Will there be candles? Oh, there will probably be candles. OMG.

If she is not into you : Merely if you promise to slip poison in my spaghetti.


The doormat

If she is into you : He’s free anytime for ME! He’s so laid-back. I adore it. If she is not into you : Before you try and talk to me, do yourself a kindnes and GET A LIFE.


The grateful-for-you text

If she is into you : I’m even MORE glad I congregated you , Eli! It’s funny how you can have no hope for love and then gratify somebody who suddenly diverts everything upside down. If she is not into you : Sensibilities are NOT reciprocal, Eli. Leave me alone.


The interest in what you’re doing at this very moment

If she is into you : I adoration how much he merely CARES. I wonder what he is doing right now. I should expect. OMG I’m absolutely gonna ask. If she is not into you : Why does he want to know what I’m doing RIGHT now !? Is he going to come kill me?


The follow-up after a failed phone call attempt.

If she is into you : OMG OMG OMG, HOW did I miss his call in the first place ?! If she is not into you : No.


The extreme compliment.

If she is into you : Is he kidding with that ?! I could die happy right now. If she is not into you : Ew. My skin is literally crawling.


The obvious excuse to makeconversation

If she is into you : I don’t even care that there are no more new chapters of “Mad Men”being aired. He remembered that I said I desire that display, and he only wants to strike up conversation! He is so freaking cute. If she is not into you : There hasn’t been a brand-new occurrence of “Mad Men”on since last year. Hop off my dick.


The middaywarm wishes.

If she is into you : Well, it frankly was not gone wrong until I went THIS! If she is not into you : Well, it frankly was going well until I went THIS!


The out-of-the-blueemoji

If she is into you : If you could include all of my sentiments for him in ONE emoji, it would be that emoji. Are we soulmates or what ?! If she is not into you : Get that image off of my screen. ASAP PLEASE.


The one who’s descending so hard, so fast.

If she is into you : OMG, so I’m NOT crazy !! He find the same mode <3

If “shes not” into you : You are jumping the gun. You are leaping ahead of the grease-gun. Dial it back about five million steps.


The one who watches you as the brightnes of his life

If she is into you : He is having a dark frightful daylight and I — yes , I — am the lighter at the end of the passageway! I am honored.

If she is not into you : Oh, shoot. This draws it even more awkward for when I cancel.


The EXTREME profession of his love

If she is into you : He’s so innovative . I desire that about him. If she is not into you : What the F* CK was that ?!


The “good morning” text

If she is into you : OMG, I was literally the first thing he was just thinking about this morning! That is the cutest event ever. I wonder if “hes been” fantasy about me. If she is not into you : OMG, was Iliterally the first thing he was just thinking about this morning ?! EW.


The “good night” text

If she is into you : Oh, I am going to sleep SO well tonight. If she is not into you : It is going to take a lot of NyQuil to let me go to sleep after the sheer terror of seeing that sh* t papa on my screen.


The one who cares about your sleep

If she is not you : He CARES about how I slept ?!?! The literal cutest. If she is not into you : Yes, and thank God I did, because I am never going to sleep ever again after receiving that creepy-ass text.


The random smiley

If she is into you : Daaawwwwwww. To think you can brighten my period THIS much with simply two characters… If she is not into you : What is he, some sort of pedophile? Who the f* ck uses the classic smiley anymore?


The vacation invite

If she is into you : YES !!!!!!!! If she is not into you : NO !!!!!


The unwanted reminder

If she is into you : Okay, so hottest darknes of my life and apparently … he Appears THE SAME WAY !! Booyah child fund in da bank WINNING !! If she is not into you : Well, Jesse, I was doing a pretty good chore of forgetting about it altogether UNTIL NOW.


The legit stalker

If she is into you : OMG, he Stunned me! If she is not into you : SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!


The “thinking about you” text

If she is into you : He “ve been thinking about” me more !?!!? Oh, this is just too good to be true. If she is not into you : … Why?


The unsolicited sad face

If she is into you 😛 TAGEND Aww, is he sad because he misses me ?! I am too.

If she is not into you : Hey, kinda consider this to be my appearance when I saw your appoint pop up on the screen.


The awkward check-in

If she is into you : Awwww, he was just thinking about me and couldn’t think of anything else to say! It’s like the modern-day version of “I only called to say I love you.”

If she is not into you : WTF do you want me to respond to that …?


The date invite

If she is into you : YES! YES! YES! 1,000 TIMES YES !!!!

If she is not into you : NO! NO! NO! 1,000 TIMES NO !!!

Read more:


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *