There is a collective of Tumblr customers who are very concerned about what would immigrants would think of humans if they had the chance to interact with us. It may be a strange circumstance to speculate about, but it is definitely an superb writing stimulate. A few of these strange knowledge have decided to write floors about alien reactions to the things that draw us human. Spoiler alert: according to extraterrestrial beings, humen are pretty weird. So naturally, if there’s no other planet in the galaxy with same climate and biological diversity, aliens are in for a huge amaze! Scroll below to read floors about perhaps the weirdest species on the galaxy.( Facebook cover image: Rev Stan)
crazy-pages said :
Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfy temperature series is? ”
Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -4 0 to 50 Celcius, but we wish the 0 to 30 range.”
Alien: “ ……. I’m sorry, did you only register temperatures below freezing? ”
Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.”
Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this person in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and shoulders until the information was -2 0 at least.”
Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”
Alien: “ ……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to simmer? ”
Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god are contributing to if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.”
Alien: “ ……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.”
Alien: “You’re telling me that you have … settlements. On islands with active volcanism? ”
Human: “Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a sightseer attraction.”
Alien: “What, the molten stone? ”
Human: “Well, yeah! It’s not every day you understand a mountain spew out liquid rock-and-rolls! The good one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano-”
Alien: “You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES? ”
Human: “S ** t, husband, we swim in the groundwater near them.”
the-grand-author said :
Alien: “And you say the spars of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with air shivering? ”
Human: “Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other date just about.”
Alien: “Amazing! when did you manage to send drones who are able to exist such temperatures? ”
Human: “ … well, actually…”
Alien: “ … what? ”
Human: “…we kinda ……. sent……….. people…..”
Alien: “…what? ”
Human: “we sent-”
Alien: “no yeah I heard you I just- what? You mailed … Humen … to a place one hundred magnitudes below freezing? ”
Alien: “and they didn’t … die? ”
Human: “Well the first few did”
Alien: “PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE ???!?!?!? ”
arcticfoxbear said :
My brand-new favorite Humen are Weird quote
Alien: “PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE? ”
aka The History of Russia
aka Arctic Exploration
aka The History of Alaska
radioactivepeasant said :
It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the creepy ones” fit sometimes, if you look at it another way, humen might seem like the absurdly friendly or strange ones.
I mean, who looked at an elephant, giant beast thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and concluded “I’m gonna ride on that circumstance! ”?
And set a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong fortune of said human shrieking “PUPPY! ” and establishing humorous interaction with it.
And what about the people who look at whales, big than mostly everything else, and end “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger sidekicks! ”
Heck, for all we are familiar with, humen might run into the scariest, toughest immigrants out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug’ em.”
“Why ?! ”
“I dunno. I gotta hug’ em.”
And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a knot of big-hearted unnerving friends.
adrenaline-revolver said :
“Commander, “were supposed to” modernize the code of conduct to include the humans.”
“Why? Are they most aggressive than we anticipated? ”
“It seems to be the opposite Commander. Just this morning a crewman nearly lost their side when attempting to stroke an unidentified feline on an unknown nature. Their reaction to the attack was to call the mortal a “mean kitty” and commit to win it over. Upon research, it seems they bond so quickly with people outside their species that they have the capacity to feel sympathy for an alien man they have never seen before plainly because it shows distressed. I hate to say this commander but we must install a rule to prevent them from endangering their own lives when interacting with the galaxy’s fauna.”
“I picture what you represent. So be it, from now on no crewman is allowed to touch unknown swine without allow from a superior polouse. And send a message to equips about collecting one of the following options “puppies” so that their desire to touch furred predators can be safely sated.
talkingbirdguy said :
Let’s be honest, the humans would discount the blaze outta that regulation whenever alone.
“So I hear that you’ve simply banked a human for your ship.”
“Yes, it’s the first time that I’ve is cooperating with these species, but “theyre coming” highly recommended. Say, you’ve is cooperating with a few, what tip-off can you gives people? I’d hate to have some sort of cultural misconstrue if it’s avoidable.”
“The first rule of working with humen is to never leave them unsupervised.”
“Wait, what? ”
“I’m serious. Don’t do it. Things. Happen.”
“But wait, I thought that I heard you highly recommended that every crew should have at least one on board? ”
“Absolutely, and I stand by that. Humans are superb innovators and are psychologically exceedingly resilient. If you have a crisis, then a human that has bonded with your crews properly can be invaluable. Plow your human shaft and you are able to get the best out of them as a gang member. Their ability to get on with virtually any species is legendary.”
“But Toks, didn’t you just say…”
“The trouble is that they will potentially try to attachment with anything. If you leave them unsupervised, you have no idea what kind of difficulty they can get themselves into. It was sheer luck that the Fanzorians thought that it was funny that the human picked up the Crown Prince to coo at him.”
“Crown Prince Horram, Scourge of Pixia? ”
“The very same. Surprisingly good sense of humor. But don’t even get me started on that one time with the Dunlip. Al-Human wanted to know if they could keep it. As a pet.”
“A Dunlip? You mean the 3-metre tall apex piranhas from Jowun? ”
“Yup. Don’t leave your humen unsupervised.”
“I’ll uh, take that under advisement.”
“Seriously. Get a furnish of safe animals for the humans to alliance with or they will make their own. I mean, they will try to befriend anything they come across anyway, but without any permanent babies they can get … innovative. Don’t even get me started on the time one of them videotapeed a spear to one of our auto-cleaners and identified it Stabby.
Three weeks in and when we finally caught the wretched event, half the humans on gang is seeking to revolt about us “killing” Stabby by removing the knife.
“How … how did you resolve that sir? ”
“Glaxcol made a toy knife out of insulation rubber and buckled that on instead. Quite a imaginative answer, I suppose.”
“And that sated the human rights?
“They thought it was so funny they made a second one, strapped untrue gazes on springs to both and supported mock combats. Then ended Stabby and Knifey were in love and now nothing of them will allow the others to stage fights between them any more.”
“So, if I render my Humans with safe bonding pets they will behave better when on other planets? Where do I get safe bonding domesticateds? ”
“Realizing the carnage their species created with their bonding requires, Earth has been kind enough to create an intergalactic’ pet’ shop as they call it, the order forms are on the bridge.”
“If they get a domesticated this should prevent any bayonet welding auto-cleaners? ”
“You don’t sound very reassuring.”
“Well … You have to understand that some of what humen find attractive about their’ pets’ is actually what induces them dangerous. Not all of what the hell is consider’ safe’ is what we would consider’ safe’.”
“OK … I am going a little nervous about this.”
“No , no, it’s fine, I’m just saying you should perhaps keep an eye on what the hell is order. Question them to describe the soul before they get it. For illustration, the first time I had a human on board I make them prescribe a baby without checking what it was.”
“What happened? ”
Well, when it arrived it was a 25 pound fanged and clawed feline character called a Savannah Cat. My entire gang was panicked of it, it was agile and is likely to be have seriously injured someone, but the human rights “havent had” dread of it. They insisted on carrying it around like small children, and they are able to mash it’s’ beans’ as “theyre saying”, forcing the animals claws out, and then they are able to be shown it’s deadly claws while saying, and I quote,’ look at its cute claws, this is what it uses to kills stuffs, isn’t it cute? ’“
“I have also heard storeys from other gangs that their humans ordered canines that weigh as much or more then they do, and they sleep next to the monstrous creature.”
“You are not reaching me feel better with these stories…”
rustfoxes said :
More “wtf are humen, please leave the rest of us be” material:
Human reactions to fear!
No, I’m not talking about screaming or freezing in one recognize and pissing yourself. I’m talking about the weirder, more specific-to-only-humans fear reactions.
Idk how many of you have watched people play fright video games, but a surprising sum of parties start chronicling what’s going on in a sing-song voice.
Imagine being an alien, moving in a terrifying, dark passageway with these odd gangly beasts, you’re all frightened out of your humours and then one of them starts f ** prince singing.
In a darknes cave. While everyone’s terrified.
“~ We are all gonna f ** lord croak, this is terrible and I wanna lead hooooome~ ”
nightmare3 614 said :
I’ve been reading a lot of these “humans are room orcs” posts and that got me thinking…
Imagine that you’re the only human in youre gang. Youre crew is getting attacked by pirates and they start shooting missiles with a lethal essence in it. None of youre crewmembers is getting hit, but one projectile touches you. The whole crew is freaking out and bellowing “Oh no, our human is dying! ”
But you don’t feel like you’re be killed. You feel energetic and hyperactive. You manage to blurt out “ohmygodifeelawesomewhatwasinthosedarts ?!? ” And one crewmember simply stares at you like you lost youre knowledge and says “that … that was caffeine”
And then you invest the next hour running in cyrcles and hollering “WEEEEEEEEE” while your crewmembers slowly start to whish that these darts had killed you.
arafaelkestra said :
To paraphrase one of my favorite flecks of a’ humans are awesome’ myth megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the concepts of Earth being Space Australia.
sepulchritude said :
My fav trope is like , nonhuman attributes not understanding human necessaries/ usages but still being super supportive of their human companion
“look what I observed while exploring this planet’s surface! ” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm.* stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your tempo, yes? ”
“the book I acquired on ragnok V says humen involve physical suggestion when disturbance. hence, I shall engage in a’ hug’ with you.”* supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*
* human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL’EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”
“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans compel companions and packmates in the form of small-minded globe souls. you should have told me this before we varied world, but it is no perturb. we will have to stop at the next commerce planet to get you one of these’ cats’ or’ dogs’.”
imagine the foreigners genuinely purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what follows
“she’s been cuddling that small-time animal for the past fifteen minutes just going’ kitty-cat, kitty’. did we – did we interrupt our human? ”
a more seasoned immigrant sets one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team reaps to watch their human acquire kissy interferences.
“no, kilrak, ” the alien says. “we did good.”
“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the commemoration of your hatching! According to my human culture circular, it is customary to situated a sugary pastry on fire while singing your species’ raise charm and presenting sacrifices wrap in glossy newspaper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this asking therefor insensitive … but may I be allowed to participate? It voices much more mesmerizing than molting.”
“Human Steve, I have read about your ritual move announced’ The Hokey Pokey, ’ played predominantly at mate-bonding observances after the guests reach an hoisted rank of delirium. But Human Steve, how do I know WHICH left foot to put in, put out, and shake all about? I do not … Human Steve, why are you chuckling? ”
captainarwenpond2 21 b said :
“Human-Steve, you are … you are eating, but it is not one of your ritual fueling epoches. Are you croaking? Is everything alright? Have you not been receiving enough sustenance? Do I need to get you better things to eat? Human-Steve, why are you trying to hide that nutrient? ”
rinneavicula said :
“Human-Steve, my research has informed me of a grave oversight in your care that I, as your companion, have obligated! Thus, I have met accumulations of imaginary human literature to read aloud at the time of your bunk. Which is more to your partiality: “The Care and Keeping of Cacti” or “1 001 Crossword Puzzles? ” Human-Steve? Human-Steve, I am serious.“
Another humans are funny/ space orcs mind that came to me when attempting to drink water upside down:
Humans are apex predators. We’re unbreakable and relentless and legion and lethal. Nothing gets to us- except us.
It’s the stupidest interesting thing that can stop up a human.
Many immigrants have theorized about this. Perhaps with no natural antagonists, the species tried to threaten them with themselves in a frantic search for some kind of challenge. Perhaps it’s cosmic karma for being nigh unstoppable. Maybe they had transcended so much that the subtleties of life were minuscule and incomprehensible to them. Perhaps it’s natural selection trying to thin the herd.
Whichever the case, it’s a strange combining of disturbing and amusing to realize a human be defeated by itself. It’s a little fearing to receive “the worlds largest” resilient and powerful species in the universe are totally shut down with stuffs that pale in comparison to their ordinary challenges.
Seeing a human operate almost completely fully with various busted bones … but perfectly maimed and reduced to using one forearm when faced with a large hangnail.
My dad violated his leg in a snowmobile accident in this way that the bone was sticking out of his leg. He crawled a half mile in the snow to the nearest house to ask for help. But where reference is stubs his toe on the coffee table every few weeks, it’ll raising him to his knees.
I recently got a doubled conch piercing done- two massive needles jostle through the thickest cartilage in my ear, one right after the other. I’ve get 5 other thrusts. Nothing , not even the conch, hurt as much as going a single mane pulled out of my head.
I recognize beings gobble some of the world’s hottest nutrients all fastened with capsaicin which can kill situations, and suck alcohol that’s literally poisonous, and smash pen clients with their teeth. But a too cold slush booze? Unable to talk or move, front between the knees, for about two minutes, because mentality frost. Or, better hitherto, sometimes we literally choke on spit. Nearly asphyxiate. Because we regularly’ swallow down the wrong hole’.
Alien: Why did you say, last-place month, that your ruined ribs and forearm and massive blood loss was’ fine’, but when you got a newspaper slashed today, you scream for ten minutes and now still refuse to unwrap your curve? It is minuscule in comparison to some things that you’ve faced without hesitation.
Human: Candidly it’s so stupid and I don’t really know, but I will swear up and down and until the working day I succumb, a broken bone hurts way less than a article cut.
Alien: But … no. It’s not worse. It … that doesn’t make sense.
Human: I know, right? But it’s true.
So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the bizarre ones? ” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me guessing. Earth is a wonky situate, the axis tilts, the path wobbles, and the dirt spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what realise humans funny is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these milds, Mediterranean climates with no seasons , no tectonic illustrations, and no intense climate?
What if several species( including humen) land on a world and the human rights are all “SCORE! Globe like world-wide! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed! ” And countries around the world starts offing the other immigrants right and left, electric gales, hypothermia, hurricanes and the humans are just … there … counting seconds between flashings, having snowball engages, and only surviving.
“Don’t-” the human prisoner complained as the squad president slowly approached a small group of swimming fowl in a nearby pond.
“Silence, ” the lead prescribed, gradually creeping towards the group. Suddenly, they pounced on one of the souls, grabbing it in their hands as it departed the pond.
Then everything went to hell.
In an instantaneou, the chick assaulted, together with the ones around it.
The beings moved fast, almost a blur as they hen-peck away at the commander, hooting loudly. The residue of the immigrant gang was just thinking about helping, but were much too frightened.
The fowls didn’t stop their pecking assault until the squad governor was hemorrhaging and no longer moving.
The rest of the aliens grabbed the human and ran for their f ** king lives.
“What were those? ” the human was later asked.
space-ace-in-the-space-race said :
Okay, so running off the whole space Australia thing, see foreigners would think of ACTUAL AUSTRALIA. Humen are batshit maniac, we do some crazy shit, but a respectable amount of us are shocked by the mere thought of living in Australia. That lieu is no joke, it’s a fatality net of a continent that somehow became a badass country. You don’t f ** k with Australia.
Alien: what is a kangaroo?
Human: oh, it’s an animal from Australia. They hop-skip around and the carry their kids in containers. They may be cute, but don’t get them enraged, they can kill you.
The…the human is actually Forewarned them of something? The human is AFRAID?
Human: that’s exactly Australia for you, though. Literally, EVERYTHING on that continent can kill you, so I guess it’s not THAT off. Be careful if you ever go to Australia, though. It’s a very dangerous place.
And this all of the foreigners eschew Australia at all costs because if the f ** ruler HUMANS are intimidated then it must be the most dangerous and startling lieu ever.
bogleech said :
It’s funny how science fiction universes so often plow humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.
I want to see a sci-fi world where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and startling species.
How do we know our saliva and surface oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient hastens? What if we really have the strongest vocal cords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds simply by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe will prove to be vegetable-like and is living in anxiety of us uncommon “animal” hastens who can move so quickly and munch shit up with our teeth?
Like that old story “they’re made of meat, ” only we’re scarier.
HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I Discovered A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of vicious divinities: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.
WARNING: Humen CAN See YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN Replicate AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACE YEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUTDOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
prokopetz said :
More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our tenacity, scandalize fight, and ability to recover from trauma is absurdly high-pitched compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to signify heartiness – but compared to a human, a mare is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting proof that our primitive ancestors would hunt large-scale prey plainly by following it at a sauntering speed, without sleep or residue, until it croaked of exhaustion; it’s announced seek predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.
( The only other animal that can kind of keep abreast with us? Hounds. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of” .)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuing predators:
Our strength and rapidity is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overtake or outdistance you. We simply be required to outlast you – and by any other species’ touchstones, we just plain don’t get tired.
Where a simple separated leg will cause most species to go into collapse and die, we can removed from almost any hurt that’s not immediately fatal. Even painful dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wraps that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty – humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented mannerisms – but they’re highly functional.
Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life supporter. In extermis, humen have been known to perform surgery on themselves – and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of assassinate. We even play-act revolutionary surgery on ourselves for exclusively cosmetic reasons.
In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.
astrakiseki said :
I do hope you realize I’m going to be picking up this trash and extending with it right?
friendlytroll said :
Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a course to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into chassis, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place.
We modelled cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from vexing us by death, often utilizing little analouge captures.
And by divinity, we will snacked anything.
siderealsandman said :
We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food.
We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the course of carrying out shading our surface.
We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live.
We have a game where two parties get into an enclosed arena and smack each other until season runs out/ one of them pass out
We happily jump out of planes with exclusively a flimsy fragment of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
Our response to event of natural disasters is to precisely rebuild our buildings in the exact same lieu.
We climb mountains and jeopardy frost to demise for boasting rights
We invented pups. We took our one time piranhas and wholly domesticated them.
On a planet full of lions, tigers and allows, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us
teal-deer said :
can we talk about how chase predation is fucking terrifying
it’s one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break-dance your neck
it’s another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it exactly kind of
to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you’ve left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you think you’ve lost something and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
WHEN YOU WAKE UP
and you divide! again! but it keeps following you. ever in the corner of your see. until you just
we are scary motherf ** kers ok
ancientnapdragon said :
I realized a post about how humen were apex predators a little while ago, and one of the points it mentioned was that it’s reason humen have such a wide diet you don’t found under a lot of other swine. plus, we’re quite poison resistant to happens that would hurt/ kill most other swine( we’re the only species that is lactose tolerant as standards and norms, chocolate isn’t poison to us, plus other things that astounded me and i wish i had kept the upright: c)
what if most aliens have restraint situations they can eat? the Susutians is simply eat flora question of a particular color, or Luttans is simply feed certain meats from specific types of insects on their planet. so, when they come to earth they’re all like’ on so what do you eat? ’ and they’re thrown through a loop at what options we have! and they find out that a LOT of the food we eat on the regular is super poisonous to majority decisions of the known universe!
like, “oh hey, human-steve, thank you for calling my planet. we’re about to eat the snack of the tirid sun, will you meet us? ”
“o yeah cool what’s the apple seeming act on that tree? ”
“apple ….. oh, you make the highly poison and deadly Punnadix Fruit? those are a scourge of my peopl- WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?! ”
“uh ….. ingesting it? it’s delicious? ”
cue an foreigner having a heart attack, or whatever the equivalent is. on top of all the other creepy shit they’re known for, this establishes then rise higher in the list of’ creatures we are REALLY glad are on our side’.
ainawgsd requested :
What if humans are the only species that gets “mystery” injuries? How bizarre would it be to immigrants that we can sustain an injury that leaves a trade mark persistent daytimes or sometimes weeks but don’t recollect how we got it?
what-are-even-humans said :
I cherish it!
Humans are already panicking enough, but then it gets hurts like contusions( which is deadly to various species sentiment you !) and it doESN’T EVEN KNOW WHY ?!?!?!?
At first the interspecies council thinks it’s a joke. Yes, it has already been established that a human just plain won’t succumb( with very few exceptions, like decapitation) and contusions aren’t that dangerous for most species. That it’d be futile at killing a human wasn’t surprising, but that they some times don’t even know how they’ve goes the contusion? No that has to be a joke.
It’s governed as another illusion until a member of the council walk along with a vessel with a few human crew-members. Trofaxiq the Elder had taken a stroll around the ship a few days into the trip when he hear two humen talking.
“Maybe you walked into something? ” The towering, highly pigmented one said, inspecting something on the slightly shorter, less pigmented one.
“Yeah, you are familiar with I’m clumsy, but the position’s strange, isn’t it? ” The shorter one said, appearing down at their own appendage.
“So perhaps you got it in your sleep? ” The tall one intimated as the short one discerned Trofaxiq the Elder and jabbed its appendage into their fellow human’s sternum. A little experienced Froentir would have mistaken it for an attack, but Trofaxiq the Elder knew enough about human behaviour to know it was called a’ nudge’ and was socially acceptable.
After the normal exchange of greetings and pleasantries, Trofaxiq the Elder eventually requested the humans what they had been discussing. The towering one, Fatima, said the short one, Lucia had gone a injury, but couldn’t remember how. Unsure what a injury was, Trofaxiq the Elder requested, but quickly came to wish they hadn’t as they looked the large contusion on the human rights member.
Less than one rotation afterwards, the human rights guidebook had been modernized, and a suggestion had been made to add a category so they could tag humen down as more dangerous than the previous “extremely dangerous, do not approach in the wild”
The only problem was how useful humen could be to jaunts. In the end, the relevant recommendations wasn’t delivered, to the obses of many council members.
fenerismoon said :
So I’ve read a few humen are weird positions and it got me considering, what if humen are the only species to progress to use barrage. Like, more intelligent species will instinctively abscond in panic the moment they catch sight of an open kindle, hitherto testify a human newborn a burn and if they don’t know better, they will try to seizure it.
Humans will burn everything. Most of us won’t eat anything unless it has been “Cooked” first.( A human word meaning to heat food until it has begun to denature but not yet should begin to carbonize .)
Start a small fire and instead of fleeing, humen will gather around it and start socializing.
We get intoxicated by setting specific weeds on fire and inhaling the inhale, often with the burning embers mere inches from our feelings face.
We use it to clear territory for agriculture and hunting. We use it to punish felons. We even use it for solely aesthetic determinations.( Remember fireworks .)
Heck, we we discovered hydrocarbons, the first thing we did was burn them. In detail, humans were igniting so much better hydrocarbons the latter are literally modifying the atmosphere of their planet.
Heck, humans have died because they literally did not have enough substances to burn.
Now imagine hostile aliens want to invade globe. They don’t use fervour except in cases of carefully seen and heavily guarded industrial purposes. They likewise don’t know much about ground other than it is definitely occupied and the people haven’t developed intergalactic travel.
They’re expecting to face primitive powers armed with the neighbourhood equivalent of societies and kowtows. What they get is, to them, a strange anachronistic hodgepodge of expected primative engineerings and highly advanced engineerings that they clearly shouldn’t have.
They’re not expecting guns.( Projectile artilleries that consist of a narrow tube with missile and a chemical propellent stuffed into one aim. Instead of an electromagnetic heartbeat, the propellant is ignited and the expanding gases film the projectile out of the tube .)
They’re not expecting powered vehicles. Instead of electrical machines, humen have what they call the internal combustion engine.( A engine that the project works by sucking flammable gas into an enclosed chamber, erupting the gas under pressure, and using the resulting force-out from the detonation to move a piston. Because of that, humans have heavy machinery, self-propelled vehicles, and powered air-craft before they even really understood bio electricity.
They’re not expecting missiles, or incendiary weapons.( It was also how it was discovered that their bio-polymer armor, while superb against projectiles, can actually burn at surprisingly low temperatures.
They’re not even expecting smelled metal. Steel to them is a high tech information that can only be produced under specialized conditions of extreme hot, and necessary very specialized facilities to raise. They are dismayed to discover that humans ought to have smelting copper before they developed writing.
And they are definitely not expecting atomic weapon.( Which are basically “bombs” that instead of using combustable substances use an uncontrolled nuclear fission reaction. They are also aghast has found that not only was this apparently the first thing we thought to do where reference is discovered fission, but that contesting human faction have “how many of these weapons stockpiled !? ”
After retreating in disgrace, the task force sent to monitor the weed is sickened to report that humans are rapidly expanding into opening. They aren’t exploiting gravitic lifters or electromagnetic mass motorists. They are apparently simply loading equipment and personnel into special “missiles” and using a shit ton of highly combustable gasoline to plainly launching themselves into space
skr4mbl 3d3ggz said :
Imagine the first time aliens assure a human “zone out” while working. The human is only altogether insensitive for a little while and the immigrants have no idea what’s happening.
Marnie had been working for a long time. She never took escapes for anything, and knowing how busy she was, the rest of the crew exactly left her to it. Eventually, they realized that she hasn’t been insured outside of her office for a few Earth daytimes, so Kaogj eventually decided to confront her about it.
“Human-Marnie, ” xe said, “You have been absent from the rest of the ship for quite some time. Could you take a divulge from your work and rejoin us? ”
Marnie didn’t respond. She hadn’t even declared Kaogj’s presence. Kaogj took a deep sigh and tried once more, “Human-Marnie, I understand your work may be important. If I recall correctly you can’t stay here and neglect your needs like this. Please come join us.”
Again, Marnie didn’t answer. The door to Marnie’s office gradually groaned open. Vincent, the other human shipmate, shuffled in softly. Kaogj looked at him worriedly.
“Human-Vincent, what is happening with Human-Marnie? “Shes not” declaring me. Is she ill? ” Xe expected, expres hushed.
“No , no, she’s penalty! She’s not sick. She’s precisely in the zone right now, that’s all.” Vincent breathed, smiling warmly. Kaogj searched even more paid great attention to this.
“The zone? What does that necessitate? Will Human-Marnie survive ?! ”
Vincent chuckled to himself. It was so amusing to see the foreigners encounter these circumstances that humans deal with so commonly.
“Yes, Marnie will live! Being’ in the zone’ is another way of saying that someone is super focused on what they are doing, so they block out everything else. Some of us, like Marnie, can’t hear happenings in that position. I’ll prove you.” Vincent leaned over Marnie’s work bench and waved his hands above the documents she was writing on. She looked up, then stood up and stretched.
“Hey Vinnie! What’s up? ” She said cheerfully.
“Sorry to bother you, but Kaogj thought you were dying or something because you’ve been working in here for so long and you wouldn’t answer. The crew wants you to join us for a meal.”
“My confessions! I get so assimilated in my job, time merely stumbles past me. I’ll gladly met you guys, I’m depriving! ”
Kaogj gazed down at his tablet and quickly wrote’ Investigate Zoning Out’. This odd state is definitely going to need some research.
akireyta said :
I continue “ve been thinking about”, and about species exploiting niches, and it results that humans would probably been sees as excellent candidates for the galactic equivalent of scour and rescue.
we’re tough as fingernails, have strength for epoches, actively experience a huge array of temperatures and environmental conditions and alliance with anything and can empathize to the extent we examine faces on inanimate objects.
more than one lost and hopeles foreigner has listened a cluster of humans yahooing it up down a cliff-face and felt the sweet charge of comfort 🙂
mayhemxtwins said :
Alien discovers a human crying and is like “why is there water coming from your ocular portals? ” and the human is like “it’s because i’m sad, it’s how my organization manufactures me feel better” so the foreigner is like well that’s strange but okay
same alien gaits into a area where humen are chuckling and encounters one crying. alien gets angry and wants to know why everyone’s chuckling while this person is crying because it learned at some point that giggling means you’re joyous and the crying person is like “oh sorry no, I’m crying because I’m tittering so much” and the alien is ???? “you’re so happy that you’re happy? ” and the human rights are like well…..crying doesn’t always signify sad……and the foreigner commits up on trying to understand humans
reptar3 000 said :
Terrans are known for being some of the bravest if not stupidly intrepid species, they ever go on about their thirst for knowledge and their pronunciations and monologue about it applies anyone in the mood to explore they oblige u feel their excitements with their statement almost like a charm that campaigns it in my gang there was an over joyous female that was in collapse to be acknowledged that I really didn’t like is now in the exploration crew after being assigned to it I asked her “ What’s so important about this half the planets we find are un inhabitable” she responded with “ How can you not affection it what if there is a chance to find sentient life other like us and accompanying them the exhilaration of this knowledge” another gang member joined in “yeah what is it with terrans and knowledge? ” “What is life with out knowing, what is the point of living in ignorance there is so much not detected so much better learn lessons from perhaps it’s merely us terrans but learning is like breathing we can’t live with out it back then when clay was still just humans the original terrens they found each other they sailed frontiers explored to know everything about the planet they traveled to the moon to see what else is there what is beyond the horizon and now I like my ancestors before me explore because I can and want to I want to find more learn more bring to my beings so they can benefit from it. Us terrans simply live so long but preserve everything what would life be if all we did was gobble sleep and die Nothing and we know opening is enormou and maybe endless but it’s my work to explore Space The Final Frontier” her pronunciation had everyone on the ship with starry gazes go looking for more when I asked her about it how did she come up with that pronunciation she just said “it just comes from my heart”.