If she is not into you : Merely if you promise to slip poison in my spaghetti.
If she is into you : He’s free anytime for ME! He’s so laid-back. I adore it. If she is not into you : Before you try and talk to me, do yourself a kindnes and GET A LIFE.
The grateful-for-you text
If she is into you : I’m even MORE glad I congregated
you , Eli! It’s funny how you can have no hope for love and then gratify somebody who suddenly diverts everything upside down. If she is not into you : Sensibilities are NOT reciprocal, Eli. Leave me alone.
The interest in what you’re doing at this very moment
If she is into you : I adoration how much he merely CARES. I wonder what
he is doing right now. I should expect. OMG I’m absolutely gonna ask. If she is not into you : Why does he want to know what I’m doing RIGHT now !? Is he going to come kill me?
The follow-up after a failed phone call attempt.
If she is into you : OMG OMG OMG, HOW did I miss his call in the first place ?! If she is not into you : No.
The extreme compliment.
If she is into you : Is he kidding with that ?! I could die happy right now. If she is not into you : Ew. My skin is literally crawling.
The obvious excuse to makeconversation
If she is into you : I don’t even care that there are no more new chapters of “Mad Men”being aired. He remembered that I said I desire that display, and he only wants to strike up conversation! He is so freaking cute. If she is not into you : There hasn’t been a brand-new occurrence of “Mad Men”on since last year. Hop off my dick.
The middaywarm wishes.
If she is into you : Well, it frankly was not gone wrong until I went THIS! If she is not into you : Well, it frankly was going well until I went THIS!
If she is into you : If you could include all of my sentiments for him in ONE emoji, it would be that emoji. Are we soulmates or what ?! If she is not into you : Get that image off of my screen. ASAP PLEASE.
The one who’s descending so hard, so fast.
If she is into you : OMG, so I’m NOT crazy !! He find the same mode <3
If “shes not” into you : You are jumping the gun. You are leaping ahead of the grease-gun. Dial it back about five million steps.
The one who watches you as the brightnes of his life
If she is into you : He is having a dark frightful daylight and I — yes , I — am the lighter at the end of the passageway! I am honored.
If she is not into you : Oh, shoot. This draws it even more awkward for when I cancel.
The EXTREME profession of his love
If she is into you : He’s so innovative . I desire that about him. If she is not into you : What the F* CK was that ?!
The “good morning” text
If she is into you : OMG, I was literally the first thing he was just thinking about this morning! That is the cutest event ever. I wonder if “hes been” fantasy about me. If she is not into you : OMG, was Iliterally the first thing he was just thinking about this morning ?! EW.
The “good night” text
If she is into you : Oh, I am going to sleep SO well tonight. If she is not into you : It is going to take a lot of NyQuil to let me go to sleep after the sheer terror of seeing that sh* t papa on my screen.
The one who cares about your sleep
If she is not you : He CARES about how I slept ?!?! The literal cutest. If she is not into you : Yes, and thank God I did, because I am never going to sleep
ever again after receiving that creepy-ass text.
The random smiley
If she is into you : Daaawwwwwww. To think you can brighten my period THIS much with simply two characters… If she is not into you : What is he, some sort of pedophile? Who the f* ck uses the classic smiley anymore?
The vacation invite
If she is into you : YES !!!!!!!! If she is not into you : NO !!!!!
The unwanted reminder
If she is into you : Okay, so hottest darknes of my life and apparently … he Appears THE SAME WAY !! Booyah child fund in da bank WINNING !! If she is not into you : Well, Jesse, I was doing a pretty good chore of forgetting about it altogether UNTIL NOW.
The legit stalker
If she is into you : OMG, he Stunned me! If she is not into you : SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!
The “thinking about you” text
If she is into you : He “ve been thinking about” me more !?!!? Oh, this is just too good to be true. If she is not into you : … Why?
The unsolicited sad face
If she is into you 😛 TAGEND Aww, is he sad because he misses me ?! I am too.
If she is not into you : Hey, kinda consider this to be my appearance when I saw your appoint pop up on the screen.
The awkward check-in
If she is into you : Awwww, he was just thinking about me and couldn’t think of anything else to say! It’s like the modern-day version of “I only called to say I love you.”
If she is not into you : WTF do you want me to respond to that …?
The date invite
If she is into you : YES! YES! YES! 1,000 TIMES YES !!!!
If she is not into you : NO! NO! NO! 1,000 TIMES NO !!!