So youre between S.O.s at the moment, or perhaps your current relation is way too casual to endure the couple-y pressure of Valentines Day. Whatever the reason, the point is that youre chilling by yourself on Feb. 14 this year, and plainly that means youll wind up watching Netflix. Not to sound like one of those objectionable single-empowerment clauses, but with a liberal be applied in booze, a true-blue betch can experience herself in literally any place, up to and including spending the dreaded V-Day alone. Honestly, its hard to have a bad night when you merely recollect half of it.
But I ramble. Netflix and wine is, of course, one of “the worlds largest” supernatural combinings known to betchkind. Sometimes, though, the infinite potpourrus is a little much, so Ive constricted it down for you.
Whats most romantic than Channing Tatums soulful sees and a bunch of men in thongs gyrating to Its Raining Men? Literally good-for-nothing, so celebrate the facts of the case that youre watching this glorious movie with Champagne. Regrettably, you cant dad a bottle all over Joe Manganiellos abs, so drinking it is the next best stuff. TBH I should cease the roster right here because I can think of literally no better behavior to spend Valentines Day than with alcohol and, but Ill continue in case thats( inexplicably) not your act.
2.+ Pinot Noir
is perfect for the bitter betch. Technically, its a love storyin between all the murder and cannibalism, everyones yearning for each otherso its thematically appropriate for V-Day. Mostly, though, its about Johnny Depp brutally assassinating everyone in sight and singing about itwhich is exactly what you want to do to all the joyous duets on Valentine’s Day but can’t because it’s illegal/ generally frowned upon. To go with the humaner, pork piesonscreen, suck a Pinot Noir.
3.+ Any 100 -Proof Liquor
Yeah I know it’s not wine, but sometimes wine simply doesn’t cut it. Use some of the strongest alcohol available to male to numb the hurting when you realize that youll never have a desire as pure and beautiful as Westley and Buttercups. If it becomes you feel better, were all in the same boat.
4.+ Any Wine You Can Find
As a 90 -minute metaphor for STDs, is the ideal movie for representing beings glad theyre not off slamming person with chlamydia. As a fucking scaring repugnance movie, it requires an entire bottle of wine to treat without “losing ones” mind. Honestly your choice of wine-coloured doesnt substance here as long as its got at least a 14 percentage ABV.
5.+ Two Buck Chuck
Riding solo on Valentines Day exactly means you get to fantasize about whomever you crave. You know what that entails? Time to break out a series of heartthrobs from your adolescence, beginning with the ever-dreamy Heath Ledger in. In honor of Julia Stiles getting wasted and jigging on a table to Biggie Smalls, broke out your shittiest wine-coloured, that six carry of cheap beer, and/ or a handle of watermelon flavored Smirnoffwhatever takes you back to high school.
6.+ Petite Sirah
IDGAF that is supposed to be a Christmas movie. It’s got the word love right there in the name, ergo it’s a Valentine’s Day movie. Apparently, a movie this sappy necessary something dry to poise it out, like Petit Sirah and your wit.
If you havent already seen the greatest rom com of the 2000 s, Valentines Day is the perfect time to watch it; after all, Bridget Jones herself has expended numerous a night alone on the lounge. Shes too cracked open numerous a bottle of wine, so meet her in booze what your mom would call “too much Chardonnay.”
8.+ Your Oldest Wine
has everything: A gold-digging Marilyn Monroe, fucking amazing garbs, and songs devoted to attractive Olympic players( I Cherish What Im Doing( When Im Doing It For Love )) and how diamonds are better than mortals( Diamond Are a Girls Best Friend ). Since the musical came out in 1952, broke out the oldest wine-colored in your kitchen, aka the one you bought last week and forgot about up to now. Just don’t try any at-home pigment occupations, however strong the push may be.
If you’re not masochistic enough to watch a fright movie by yourself but youre still pissed at being alone on Valentines Day, you can get out that invasion with a horror-comedy like
your sexual love . There’s a lot of blood onscreen, which you can competitor by drinking a dark red wine like Tempranillo.
Normally, I would never condone watching ostentatious indie films because that’s for monstrosities who went to movie institution and develop out their armpit whisker. That being said, is a movie about a prostitute tearing through Los Angeles in search of her pimp/ boyfriend who chiselled on her when she was in jail. Its likewise determined during Christmas. Necessity I say more? No. To go with a movie whose premise is this dainty, you need the girliest of all wine-coloureds: ros.
11.+ Wine Cooler
I have tragic news. The 90 s classic, which represented 90 s girlfriends everywhere believe in the superpower of adore with your step friend( and more importantly, style ), is leaving Netflix on Feb. 28. Since you cant actually be with ultimate DILF Paul Rudd on Valentines Day, the next best thought is to watch all nighttime. Of course, any movie set at a high school in the 90 s deserves a throwbacktime to break out the wine cools you adoration when you were 16.
It sounds like something I just made up, but I promise the issue was literally real. Bless Netflix for offering us with 45 instants of puppies being precious. Watch in bunk, clutching a bottle of Riesling, then scream yourself to sleep.
Read more: www.betches.com