New dog listens to my partner but not me in the house and is too rough with older dog

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Hi all,

Long post alert. TL;DR: Despite my best efforts, the new dog is not respecting/listening to me, is too rough with our other dog and I am ready to give up.

I'm sure you've read this many times but I'm feeling hopeless and at the end of my rope; last night I had a complete panic attack and meltdown and sobbed for hours while the new dog laid in her crate. My partner and I adopted a 1 year old golden retriever mix 2 months ago from a local shelter to keep our 10-year-old boxer company after our 14-year-old border collie passed away at Christmas. The new dog is a large (55 lbs), smart, beautiful female who is generally happy. We knew we were in for high energy, but her behaviors are so much more than that. We have been attending private dog training sessions and as I'm unemployed, I'm home working on training with her every day. She came with no training or socialization (not that we were told that), and so this is what we've already successfully worked on so far:

Potty training fetch heel/not pulling on leash while walking sit, stay, lay down, come

We are super consistent with taking her out on 2+ walks every day (30 minutes+ each) and having at least 1 off-leash fetch session of 30+ minutes per day (we don't have a yard so it's not as easy to find fenced-in places but we do drive somewhere at least once/day). Plus multiple potty breaks.

Problems- The major problems we are facing:

She is extremely dog/cat/squirrel reactive on leash (we were told she played well with other dogs?) and though she is "getting along" with our boxer, she plays rough and our boxer ends up yelping and hiding and has scabs on her back legs where the retriever bites and pulls. Our boxer has gone from a happy energetic dog to a subdued dog who lays on the bed all day. At first, we thought this was perhaps mourning the loss of our collie and adjusting to the new dog, but at 2 months, the boxer is only more reclusive and the lab rougher. She "play" bites me constantly and at night goes into "crazy puppy" mode, running through the house, biting me and the boxer, fighting with me if I put her on a leash, destroying everything in her path (we've lost many articles of clothing, etc even though we constantly put things in places we think will be out of reach). I am covered in bruises on my legs at all times. I don't understand this as I am her main trainer and am with her all day. I play fetch, walk her, work on heel/sit/come/stay, etc. with treats using the positive reinforcement our trainer is teaching us, and she responds well during those structured sessions. My partner works on the training with her some but since I'm home more I do the majority. And yet, she doesn't dare bite my partner (he's male, I'm female, in case that is meaningful here) and when she gets crazy, he puts her on a leash and she settles right away.

From what we were told at the shelter, I was expecting a dog who would need to run and get walks daily, but not exhibit the behaviors she is. I thought I was an experienced dog owner but all my previous dogs were "chill" and just wanted to play nicely or lay around, quickly learning the rules and never pushing me, and I am an extremely calm/gentle person so this is way out of my comfort zone. I am returning to work soon and am so stressed about this dog regressing and being a constant source of stress and anguish (as she already is). I'm at the point where I'm not sure this is the right household for her (even though she seems to "like" us); perhaps she needs a ranch and some seriously strong and experienced handlers. I am open to suggestions of where to go from here if someone has ideas. As of today I have relinquished all care to my partner for a while as I am so burned out I can't even look at the dog without resentment. Please help! TIA

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