Mini-Poodle mix from shelter only likes my wife!

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We just got a 6 year old mini-poodle mix from the animal shelter about two months ago. She attached to my wife immediately after 2 days and follows her everywhere and get anxiety as soon she is not next to my wife, even if i'm there.

Anxiety (When away from wife, but have other people around) = Whining, barking, howling, pacing, pants and wet paws, bites any enclosure of barrier until she's bloody to find wife (self harm), no interest in food (even high valued food), urinating and pooing in the house (even though she's house trained), doesn't listen to commands she knows (like sit).

Attitude towards wife: Follows her commands when present, almost always sleeping next to her in relaxed position (sleeping with belly up)

Attitude towards me (husband): She's generally afraid of me, even though I've never done anything but shower love on her. I'm the one that feeds her, gives her treats, takes her on walks. But she'll run away from me as soon as she gets the treat. Waits for me to walk far away before eating her meal. When i trick her to go on a walk with me alone with high value food, she basically sprints the usually route we take, does her business to get back home to my wife.

Training we've done so far:

Desensitization ( ) : We naturally/unknowingly desensitized her to separation in the bathroom, so my wife can at least go to the bathroom in peace. She'll just wait quietly in front of the door. My Wife's tried doing her "going outside" routine and then just go back and watch TV. But it hasn't worked for the front door, she starts panicking immediately if we go towards it.

Crate Training: She generally likes her crate when my wife is there. She sleeps in a crate in the bedroom but it needs to be facing my wife so the dog can see her. But she self harms (biting and pawing at crate until bloody) when she can't see my wife, so we stopped the crate training.


Any advice on helping the separation anxiety so the dog can be away from my wife occasionally (market, errands, etc..)?

Any advice to have the dog like me (husband) better?

We are looking for a behaviorist. But does anyone know one or how to search for one that speaks Chinese or Korean in Southern California for better communication?

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