If there’s one thing we know about the Kardashians, besides the fact that they can turn anything into fund, it’s that they always find a reason to throw a party. This week, Kylie and her BFF Stassie Karanikolaou( can’t she simply be Stassie K ?) got according Lasik eye surgery, which is apparently a thing now, and decided to celebrate by wearing really weird latex gowns embellished with eyeballs. I’m all for acquire reasons to party, but I’m still kind of flustered. I have parallelling relationship pendants with my BFF, and other more hardcore BFFs I know have pairing tattoos they already regret. But pairing Lasik eye surgery? I don’t get it. Well, whatever, I approximate there are things billionaire BFFs understand that we regulars don’t. Maybe if Kylie had the surgery a year ago, she would’ve seen Jordyn Woods’ betrayal coming. Oh, that’s not how Lasik runs? Never mind.
Obviously, Stassie documented the whole surgery, so that the nations of the world knows she has officially taken Jordyn’s place as Kylie’s number one BFF and will never pass it back. She posted a pointless video of her and Kylie sitting in the chairs of the operating room right after surgery where Kylie’s sees are closed. Aww, poverty-stricken Kylie is trying to rise and shine, but is just very spent. You knew that was coming. If I don’t make a joke about Kylie trying to rise and shine, which is able to? Oh right, the entire rest of the internet.
At the follow-up doctor’s appointment, the girls learn that they have 20/15 imagination( better than 20/20 ), which I didn’t know was a thing, but good for them. Maybe now they can see the wonky courses when they’re Facetuning their photos. Hopefully they don’t know-how any of the negative Lasik side effects, which can include burning and even temporary blindness. How will Kylie be able to tell apart her cheek gear colors if she loses her eyesight ??
Anyway, the BFFs hurled a party to celebrate the birth of their newly-perfect eyesight( yes “youre reading” that properly ). They took videos of themselves in the shower reflect wearing tight pink latex outfits, which I still can’t get over.
Does nobody else think it’s laughable to get matching attention surgery and then discard “states parties ” for their sight’s birthday? You can even listen Kylie in the background yelling, “My sight has been born; it’s my f* cking birthday.” Wait, so if the eyebrow hair I plucked last week flourishes back, has it been born, more? Does that aim I can shed a party? Ugh, the amount of money these girls have to waste is literally my dream. I don’t know for sure, but my conjecture is that Kylie and Stassie get other secret surgeries together all the time( like boob jobs and lipo and belly button reconstruction) and exactly decided to share this one because they can get away with calling it “medical” rather than exclusively cosmetic.
Apparently, friends who do Lasik eye surgery together, stick together! Unless Stassie fuckings it up like Jordyn did. In which example, a different BFF will swoop in and Kylie will have to figure out another way to mark their friendship. Matching beach lives in the Hamptons, perhaps? Matching puppies? Matching toenails? Whatever it is, you can bet your bottom dollar Kylie will hurl “states parties ” for it.
Images: Shutterstock; kyliesnapchat/ Instagram
Read more: betches.com