Is it puppy blues or something else?

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Here`s another great article:

First of all, just wanted to share how grateful I am for this sub's existence — I've been here hours a day for the past month+ and learned pretty much everything I know from you guys.

Like many people, the day I brought my 8-week old bernedoodle home from the breeder, I was hit with the "puppy blues" — and oh man am I so glad I read about this phenomenon here first, otherwise I would have thought I was batshit.

It's been about a week, and I'm really struggling in a way that feels slightly different from many of the other puppy blues posts I've read.

My pup is a model puppy thus far. She's adorable, friendly, super smart, clearly loves me, learned how to use her potty pad immediately and with 0 accidents in the past 3 days, not too whiny or nippy, and great at self-directed play while I WFH. Like…jackpot.Disclaimer: I'm also very aware that all these behaviors will likely change as she grows. But enjoying it for now!

However, I am feeling more overwhelmed than I ever have in my entire life and extremely stressed out. Not about her or her behaviors, but about dog ownership in general.

Things that I thought I had considered fully — like how difficult it will be to move apartments with a 70lb dog, costs of boarding/daycare/grooming, how she'll never be able to ride the subway, how her breed won't thrive at the beach in summertime (a favorite pastime of mine), how my 1BR apartment will now likely always have a dog scent, or how my anxious 14-year-old cat might not be able to handle the continued stress of a young dog — are hitting me like a slap in the face.

I did not grow up with dogs, and have been a cat owner for the past 12 years. I've also never been a person who gushes over dogs in the street or runs to pet puppies or solicit face-licks; I'm pretty much the textbook "cat person." I feel as bonded to my little girl as I've ever felt to a dog, but I am now wondering if I've made a mistake in adopting a dog in the first place.

I also endured a breakup yesterday, which has my head spinning even more: it's one thing to have a dog while in a relationship, it's another thing to be trying to date while being a mom to both a dog and a cat. I'd think it would cut down the dating pool significantly to have both animals, and if prospects also have pets it means eventually you're looking at a 3+ pet household, which in NYC is near impossible. Dating has always been really difficult for me, and between covid and being a 2-pet owner now I'm afraid it's only going to get more so.

The breakup also highlighted for me how I think I was trying to fill an emotional hole via this puppy; with any semblance of a significant other gone, and raising the puppy all alone, it's clearer to me than ever how lonely I am — the puppy didn't help with this, only exacerbated it. Oh, I'm also moving to a new apartment next month, so am feeling sick with all this change.

Like everyone who writes about puppy blues, I feel sick, depressed, anxious, and terrified with each day that passes and she imprints on me that it'll only hurt her more if I have to rehome her. She is literally the best puppy, I just can't shake the feeling that I got caught up in the quarantine crazies and made a huge mistake.

Has anyone ever experienced this? Less "puppy blues" and more "dog ownership" blues, especially anyone who's raising the dog alone? I think I just feel afraid that in spite of all the months of research I didn't fully wrap my head around what dog ownership would mean, and now I'm not so sure I'm cut out for it. Could use some perspective and/or guidance here…


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