Huge mistake in crate training!

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So, I utterly failed crate training. My partner and I are the proud parents of a 9 month bluenose pitbull named Stella Blue. She is an absolute joy and we love her endlessly, but we're having issues crate training.

We started putting her in the kennel at night and while we were away, but slowly got lazy and stopped using it after two months or so. At first we started letting her sleep in the bed because she wouldn't cry to go out at 4am (and then cry because she's back in the kennel) and it was easier to just let everyone sleep. Then we started keeping her out when we left the house because we felt she was trustworthy enough to be good (she usually is).

However, my partner and I have decided that she is no longer welcome on the bed at night. It's not an issue of her physically being on the bed, but she sleeps in the middle of the mattress and pushes us apart (which hasn't been great for our relationship and intimacy, if you will).

Two night ago, we moved her kennel into our bedroom so she didn't feel so alone and put her in the kennel before bedtime with some hemp seed treats. She was bad the first night but better last night, although she cried to go to the bathroom both times around 4am. I go to work earlier than my partner and I'm responsible for feeding her breakfast so I let her out for the day to eat when I got up again around 7am.

Are we doing the right thing in keeping her off our bed, at least during the night? Are we messing up her training by letting her come back onto the bed after I leave for work and my partner is still sleeping? If she's been to the bathroom before bed at 11, does she actually need to go out around 4am? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

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