Feeling guilty

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sourced from: https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/comments/a21moo/feeling_guilty/

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This is a late night rant and honestly I know I will probably feel different in the morning. I got an 8 week old puppy 4 days ago and he is maybe the sweetest, chilliest puppy or dog I've ever met, he's good in the car, loves being held but also doesn't cry when you put him down, loves to play but has low energy (basset hound puppies tend to be more low energy then some breeds), he normally sleeps most of the night and has only cried in his crate a handful of times but usually if I get up and pet him while he lays in his bed for a minute he goes right to sleep. He only pooped in the house once on his first day and hasn't since, he does do small dribbly pees in the house a lot but always does a full pee outside like a good boy. I feel I have no room to complain and no reason to have the puppy blues and yet I do. I suffer from depression and pretty bad anxiety which was the reason I got a dog to begin with. I'm currently at home 24/7 so I thought a dog would help with the feeling of loneliness and motivate me a little. And I know puppies are a lot of work but I'm just so paranoid he is going to get hurt or he will have an accident that I feel I can't do anything other then watch him, I've barely eaten or gone to the bathroom myself because I'm too worried about taking my eyes off him even for a second. Every little pee dribble feels like I'm failing, I take him out every 30 min and everytime he wakes up from a nap and he still dribbles. We had our first vet visit today and he had some yeast in his ears from all the rain and dragging his ears on the ground during potty time and it just crushed me. The poor thing! He is on ear drops now and the vet made it seem like no big deal but I almost broke out into tears. He also has fleas we discovered which scared me to death. He was given a nextgard chew and the vet said he should be fine but the poor thing has been itching since we got home. I guess I just feel like he is so good and I am going to ruin him, I feel like a bad dog mom and I feel selfish and like a terrible person because of this second thoughts… right now he is fast asleep being an absolute angel after sleeping since 9pm and only getting up to potty once and all I'm doing is staring at his crate saying "should I be doing this? Did I make a mistake?" And the guilt I have from those thoughts is overwhelming. I've read a few puppy blues posts and I must say they made me feel less guilty so I was hoping if I got this all out there it would make me feel better or maybe someone else has lived through this and come out the other side ok.

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