Extreme Puppy Blues, Rehoming Her?

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sourced from: https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/comments/jj3sfg/extreme_puppy_blues_rehoming_her/

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I recently got a 7 week old Golden Retriever puppy. I did extensive research prior to getting one. I thought I was in the right time to get a puppy as I've graduated college, got a full time job, and I live alone in a pet friendly neighborhood. I'm going to med school in a couple years, but I thought by that time my dog would be full grown.

However, I'm experiencing extreme puppy blues. I did not know how much my life would change after getting her. It's only day 4 of getting her, and I've sobbed more times than I can count. She requires so, so much attention and energy that I feel like I can't give her. My mental health is not great, which is why it was recommended by a lot of people, including my doctor, to get a dog that I could train to be a therapy dog. I naively didn't account for the fact that this puppy could actually worsen my mental health.

She's such a good puppy, though. She's improved tremendously through the night in just four days, she's learning to like her crate, and she's already starting to learn sit. However, she's still a puppy so she requires constant supervision every time she's awake, she's very mouthy, and my depression doesn't give me enough energy to give her 100% constant play time for the 1-2 hours she needs before she sleeps again. She requires a lot of care, tons of financial investments that blew out my budget within these four days. I haven't been able to work, my suicidal thoughts have come back, and I'm exhausted and can't imagine this to be my life for the next year. In fact, it can't be like this for the next year if I want to survive.

I read a lot of threads on here that it gets better. However, the improvement people describe feels like not enough for me. I've read that it can take up to 6 months for just a miniscule of improvement and then they can also revert back and you have to train them all over again. I don't know if I can commit to that. My mental health has taken an extreme dive, and I can't be in this state forever.

It hurts, though, because I am starting to get attached to her. I love Golden Retrievers, and I grew up with dogs. I guess I was spoiled though as I didn't have the sole responsibility of taking care of my dogs and they're super chill now. I'm seriously considering rehoming her. She's doing so well and she's happy and healthy, but I don't know how long I can continue this especially if results won't show until a year later. I need to know I can get my life back, that I can go out without chronic worry over her, that I can get my sleep schedule back soon (I have bipolar disorder, and sleep is extremely important for me to be stable). But it seems like that's not possible, and that my entire life will revolve around her for at least a year, and that feels impossible.

Am I bad person to rehome her? I'm feeling tremendous guilt, pain, and hurt, both for me and her. I feel like she's an awesome puppy, but maybe I wasn't ready. The only thing is if I'm not ready now, I don't know if I'll be ready in another 10 years, and I've been wanting a companion animal for my PTSD. I guess I'm just looking for some advice, and whether it would be okay to rehome her.

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