Deep down, many of us are still waiting for our Hogwarts following letter to whisk us away from our monotonous world-wide of definitely nonmagical cable bills and tours to Supercuts. And sure, it’s a world-wide full of danger in which even a child can’t take a piss without campaigning a monstrous troll. But, who wouldn’t prefer that to life in a cubicle?
However, while Harry Potter’s world searches like it would be full of droll escapades, formerly you stop and think about all the oppression, savagery, and militant isolationism, it’s more like the magical equivalent of North Korea. That’s because in the Wizarding World …
# 5. The Legal System Safeguards No One
Hidden within the Harry Potter fibs is another, possibly cooler legend than the one we got: a mystical law drama in which dark wizards use ingenious spells carried out under an ethnic cleansing, and agents of the state try to stop them. The bad people have invisibility, teleportation, parody and thoughts restrain at their disposal, while the good guys’ investigative methods include mind-reading, remember pursuings, and the( limited) ability to detect when illicit occult is being used. Hell, there could be volumes written just about how the Wizarding World would handle the rights of the alleged. What are their privacy constitutions? What weighs as evidence?
“Witches and hotshots, I give you Exhibit A: this gauntlet I simply Accio-ed from the alleged … ”
Instead, the potpourrus of guessing and random whims that make up the Wizarding World’s law organisation are about as consistent as the relevant rules to that recreation your fucking brother used to make up as he went along( “No, my farts are worth 10 levels! I have the fart protrude! ” ). For instance, when an elf magically shed a cake at his aunt, Harry Potter was almost expelled from Hogwarts for it. That’s because although the Ministry Of Magic can instant tell when an underage hotshot plays magic around regular humen, they can’t pinpoint the caster. That’s like someone going detained because a gunshot was hear in his or her neighborhood.
Let’s table the fact that humans enslaved the single most powerful species in the Wizarding World .
But, OK, parties get nailed based on flimsy exhibit in our world, too. But then, there’s Harry’s godfather, Sirius Black, long be regarded of wizardry’s most notorious mass-murderers. In actuality, Peter Pettigrew( the immorality weirdo who pretended to be Ron’s pet rat and who presumably investigated Ron masturbate countless epoches) perpetrated the misdemeanour Sirius was blamed for. But, “its been” far from an cunning chassis task, specially examining some of the tools available to the prosecutors.
First, there’s the Priori Incantato sorcery, which is essentially like accessing your browser record — it shows you the last spell a specific rod have allowed us to throw. At one point, it gets used only for Harry’s wand and attests that the sprig have allowed us to threw an immorality incantation. But, even that wasn’t considered sufficient evidence that he did it. Nonetheless, the magical police don’t even bother exploiting this on Sirius — the fact that he was present at the scene of the crime was all the evidence they were required carried him off to prison indefinitely, because, apparently, political liberty are right up there with human manner on the roster of things hotshots don’t understand.
Another Black defendant bolt by the system .
Then there’s Legilimency, which lets the caster peer into the target’s deepest, darkest secrets, and Veritaserum, otherwise known as goddamn sodium pentothal. Either one would’ve give them know whether Sirius was a assassin or, hell, whether he had ever stolen any coloring works. But, they use accurately neither of those occasions, for concludes that are never clarified. They’re apparently not forbidden by their constitution( if they have one, it’s probably a sentient, unreadable ringlet that moves around the chamber like a bat ), but, even if their exploit requires agree of the alleged, you would think Sirius would have agreed, rather than get carried off to be tortured by soul-sucking ghouls the rest of his life( yeah, more on that in a few moments ).
“Ahem … are you sure we can’t change your brain, Sirius? “
“Nah, I don’t want to be a bother.”
And what about when Hagrid was carried off to prison for the crime of “kids are being attacked in a way that’s same to criticize you were insubstantially links between decades ago”( as happened in Harry Potter And The Chamber of Secrets )? There was no test; the Minister For Magic simply pictured up at his house and said, “Pack your monstrou crates; you’re going to Wizard Superjail.” No real investigation was ever deported, presumably because wizard justice operates on the important principle of getting all their business done in time for happy hour.
Although, it’s hard to blame them when their workplace looks like a set out of Brazil .
# 4. The Entire Penal System Is Based Around Terror And Pain
As we mentioned above, British hotshots exclusively have a single incarcerate, and it’s run by indestructible specters of pure darkness who can suck out and ingest a person’s spirit. So, mass murderers apparently go to the same scaring situate as wizards who couldn’t pay their broom parking tickets. And you would better make sure all your affairs are in order before you go because — even if you’re lucky sufficient to get paroled — you’ll likely have 18 the different types of whatever playful bullshit refer wizards call PTSD.
Does this look like the look of a well-adjusted party ?
Azkaban is in the middle of an ocean, and it obligates Guantanamo Bay look like springtime disintegrate on South Padre Island. Hagrid called his imprisonment one of the most serious know-hows of their own lives, and he was only there for a few months. Sirius spent years there, and he came out prone to fits of exasperation, moodiness, irrational decisions, and bitchiness to home elves.
Dude can’t even remember his own godson’s identify .
The debate about whether a prison should rehabilitate or punish isn’t new, but when your exclusively prison is a chest manned by demons that does nothing but drive its occupants to brutal madness, you would think they’d at the least come up with two seconds option. Azkaban only constructs wizard felons worse — when Voldemort’s gang( the “Death Eaters”) escape it, they’re even more psychotic than they were when firstly thrown in.
Congrats, you’ve formed a bunch of Doctor Dooms .
Yeah, be talking about psychosis … what happens to you if you have a mental illness in that macrocosm? They have all sorts of droll dries for when you break a bone or get a nasty cut, but there is no mention at all of mystical medications for people whose intelligences don’t act right. So, if you’re somebody who commits felonies due to a humor ill, substance abuse, or outright deceptions, good luck! You’ll need to work through your issues in a dank cadre surrounded by a howling army of Grim Reapers. That should fasten your bipolar affective disorder, right?
That’s the thing: The books show the Wizarding World as a quaint culture that operates in parallel to our own, kind of like the Amish. But, we wouldn’t made the Amish control their own supernatural torment prisons, would we? Here’s where you start to think that maybe it’s era for us nonmagical tribe( “Muggles”) to occur. After all …
# 3. The Government Is An Incompetent Dictatorship
The overarching scheme of these stories is that the evil hotshot Hitler, Voldemort, is back after being presumed dead. The wizard government( The Ministry Of Magic) fails to react to Voldemort’s return, because Harry Potter And The Ruthlessly Efficient Government Bureaucracy has not been able to make for a exceedingly exciting speak. The heroes required to wind up on their own — we get that. But, in making the governmental forces incompetent, J.K. Rowling accidentally formed a political organisation that clears you long for the good old days when insane sovereigns could execute parties for blinking in a way that irritated them.
“Oh, we still do that, extremely.”
The Minister For Magic( the wizard chairman, basically) is technically elected, but everything the line showed us realizes it seem like a tyranny. Unlike in America, where the president can’t intimate making free puppies to veterans without half of Congress announcing him the next Hitler, the Minister can tell everyone around at will, with no checks or counterbalances. The Minister we examined for most of the serial was Cornelius Fudge, and he refused to acknowledge a significant mas of proof notifying “the worlds” that a genocidal maniac had rendered. And the rest of the governmental forces merely wheeled with such an attitude — not a single politician , nor the chapter of authority dedicated alone to engaging evil , quarrelled him, leaving the anti-Voldemort effort to Hogwarts students and a handful of their teachers and relatives. That’s like if George W. Bush had told us all to chill out in the aftermath of 9/11, and the only antiterrorist unit was an subterranean organization organized by liberal arts students.
Complete with hipster ties and judging appears .
Later, Team Voldemort stages a secret takeover by killing the Minister, telling the world he quitted and placing some random mind-controlled bureaucrat named Pius Thicknesse in his place. Then, the entire government starts following Thicknesse’s guilds, even though all his guilds are violent, prejudiced, and maniac. They disappeared from representing the people to impounding innumerable taunt trials literally overnight, and nobody interrogates anything . That would be like if, halfway through his presidency, Obama was replaced with a bizarrely robotic neo-Nazi ordering the eradication of all nonwhite Americans, and every single government office exactly reeled with it. Only, this is a world in which the wizards know that memory see is a thought .
“Well , not anymore they don’t.”
And keep in mind, this isn’t some 1930 s Germany situation here, where one defendant abducted control with a large segment of popular support. Harmonizing to the best estimates that Harry Potter fans have to offer, Voldemort exclusively had around 50 Death Eaters and a pair hundred lower-level goons. It’s ambiguous how large-scale the Ministry is, but, considering they had about 500 employees working on the Quidditch World Cup alone, it’s safe to presume they could have attached some kind of resistance if they had really wanted to.
Why didn’t they? We can think of one ground …
Read more: www.cracked.com