So youre between S.O.s at the moment, or maybe your current relation is just too casual to brave the couple-y pressure of Valentines Day. Whatever the same reasons, the point is that youre chilling by yourself on Feb. 14 this year, and undoubtedly that means youll wind up watching Netflix. Not to sound like one of those hateful single-empowerment articles, but with a radical application of alcohol, a true-life betch can enjoy herself in literally any situation, up to and including investing the dreaded V-Day alone. Honestly, its hard to have a bad darknes when you simply remember half of it.
But I digress. Netflix and wine-colored is, of course, one of the most magical combinings known to betchkind. Sometimes, though, the infinite potpourrus is a little much, so Ive constricted it down for you.
Whats more romantic than Channing Tatums mournful sees and a bunch of men in thongs writhing to Its Raining Men? Literally good-for-nothing, so celebrate the fact that youre watching this glorious movie with Champagne. Unfortunately, you cant popping a bottle all over Joe Manganiellos abs, so boozing it is the next best stuff. TBH I should purpose the inventory right here because I can think of literally best available path to expend Valentines Day than with booze and, but Ill continue in case thats( inexplicably) not your event.
2.+ Pinot Noir
is perfect for the fierce betch. Technically, its a love storyin between all the murder and cannibalism, everyones pining for each otherso its thematically suitable for V-Day. Mostly, though, its about Johnny Depp savagely slaughtering everyone in sight and singing about itwhich is exactly what you want to do to all the happy pairs on Valentine’s Day but can’t because it’s illegal/ generally frowned upon. To go with the humaner, pork piesonscreen, drink a Pinot Noir.
3.+ Any 100 -Proof Liquor
Yeah I know it’s not wine, but sometimes wine exactly doesn’t cut it. Use some of the most prominent liquid available to husband to numb the hurting when you realize that youll never have a enjoy as pure and beautiful as Westley and Buttercups. If it manufactures you feel better, were all in the same boat.
4.+ Any Wine You Can Find
As a 90 -minute metaphor for STDs, is the ideal movie for stirring parties glad theyre not off banging someone with chlamydia. As a fucking scaring horror movie, it requires an entire bottle of wine-colored to treat without “losing ones” head. Candidly your alternative of wine doesnt problem here as long as its got at least a 14 percentage ABV.
5.+ Two Buck Chuck
Riding solo on Valentines Day exactly means you get to fantasize about whomever you crave. You know what that symbolizes? Time to break out a series of heartthrobs from your adolescence, beginning with the ever-dreamy Heath Ledger in. In honor of Julia Stiles getting consumed and dancing on a table to Biggie Smalls, break away your shittiest wine-colored, that six battalion of inexpensive brew, and/ or a handle of watermelon flavored Smirnoffwhatever takes you back to high school.
6.+ Petite Sirah
IDGAF that is supposed to be a Christmas movie. It’s got the word love right there in the name, ergo it’s a Valentine’s Day movie. Undoubtedly, a movie this sappy requirement something dry to match it out, like Petit Sirah and your wit.
If you havent already seen the greatest rom com of the 2000 s, Valentines Day is the perfect time to watch it; after all, Bridget Jones herself has expended many a nighttime alone on the lounge. Shes also cracked open many a bottle of wine-coloured, so assemble her in boozing what your momma would call “too much Chardonnay.”
8.+ Your Oldest Wine
has everything: A gold-digging Marilyn Monroe, fucking amazing attires, and songs devoted to attractive Olympic players( I Enjoy What Im Doing( When Im Doing It For Love )) and how diamonds are better than males( Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend ). Since the musical “re coming out” in 1952, break out the oldest wine-colored in your kitchen, aka the one you bought last week and forgot about up to now. Just don’t strive any at-home colour activities, however strong the suggest may be.
If you’re not masochistic enough to watch a horror movie by yourself but youre still pissed at left alone on Valentines Day, you can get out that invasion with a horror-comedy like
your love life . There’s a lot of blood onscreen, which they are able to parallel by drinking a dark red wine like Tempranillo.
Normally, I would never forgive watching ostentatious indie films because that’s for monstrosities who went to film institution and develop out their armpit whisker. That being said, is a movie about a prostitute weeping through Los Angeles in search of her pimp/ lover who cheated on her when she was in jail. Its also adjusted during Christmas. Involve I say more? No. To go with a movie whose proposition is this delicacy, you need the girliest of all wine-coloreds: ros.
11.+ Wine Cooler
I have tragic news. The 90 s classic, which stimulated 90 s daughters everywhere believe in the dominance of cherish with your gradation brother( and even more importantly, fad ), is leaving Netflix on Feb. 28. Since you cant actually be with ultimate DILF Paul Rudd on Valentines Day, the next best occasion is to watch all night. Of trend, any movie set at a high school in the 90 s deserves a throwbacktime to break out the wine-coloured jugs you cherished “when youre” 16.
It sounds like something I just made up, but I predict this is literally real. Bless Netflix for offering us with 45 instants of puppies being treasured. Watch in plot, clutching a bottle of Riesling, then cry yourself to sleep.
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