So youre between S.O.s at the moment, or perhaps your current relationship is way too casual to brave the couple-y pressure of Valentines Day. Whatever the reason, the point is that youre chilling by yourself on Feb. 14 this year, and patently that means youll wind up watching Netflix. Not to sound like one of those obnoxious single-empowerment essays, but with a liberal application of booze, a true-life betch can enjoy herself in literally any statu, up to and including investing the dreaded V-Day alone. Honestly, its hard to have a bad night when you merely remember half of it.
But I ramble. Netflix and wine is, of course, one of “the worlds largest” magical compoundings known to betchkind. Sometimes, though, the infinite smorgasbord is a little much, so Ive narrowed it down for you.
Whats more romantic than Channing Tatums mournful eyes and a bunch of men in thongs gyrating to Its Raining Men? Literally good-for-nothing, so celebrate the fact that youre watching this glorious movie with Champagne. Unfortunately, you cant daddy a bottle all over Joe Manganiellos abs, so boozing it is the next best act. TBH I should intention the directory right here because I can think of literally no better mode to waste Valentines Day than with booze and, but Ill continue in case thats( inexplicably) not your event.
2.+ Pinot Noir
is perfect for the fierce betch. Technically, its a love storyin between all the murder and cannibalism, everyones pining for each otherso its thematically suitable for V-Day. Mostly, though, its about Johnny Depp viciously slaughtering everyone in sight and singing about itwhich is exactly what you want to do to all the joyous couples on Valentine’s Day but can’t because it’s illegal/ generally frowned upon. To go with the humaner, pork piesonscreen, suck a Pinot Noir.
3.+ Any 100 -Proof Liquor
Yeah I know it’s not wine, but sometimes wine merely doesn’t cut it. Use some of the strongest liquor available to being to numb the sorenes when you realize that youll never have a charity as pure and beautiful as Westley and Buttercups. If it builds you feel better, were all in the same boat.
4.+ Any Wine You Can Find
As a 90 -minute metaphor for STDs, is the ideal movie for stimulating beings glad theyre not off slamming person with chlamydia. As a fucking frightening repugnance movie, it requires an entire bottle of wine-colored to control without “losing ones” memory. Honestly your pick of wine-coloured doesnt subject here as long as its got at least a 14 percentage ABV.
5.+ Two Buck Chuck
Riding solo on Valentines Day merely means you get at imagine about whomever you require. You know what that signifies? Time to break out a series of heartthrobs from your adolescence, beginning with the ever-dreamy Heath Ledger in. In honor of Julia Stiles get squandered and dancing on a table to Biggie Smalls, break away your shittiest wine-colored, that six multitude of cheap beer, and/ or a handle of watermelon flavored Smirnoffwhatever takes you back to high school.
6.+ Petite Sirah
IDGAF that is supposed to be a Christmas movie. It’s got the word love right there in the claim, ergo it’s a Valentine’s Day movie. Clearly, a movie this sappy involves something dry to offset it out, like Petit Sirah and your wit.
If you havent already seen the greatest rom com of the 2000 s, Valentines Day is the perfect time to watch it; after all, Bridget Jones herself has wasted numerous a darknes alone on the couch. Shes likewise cracked open many a bottle of wine, so meet her in boozing what your momma used to call “too much Chardonnay.”
8.+ Your Oldest Wine
has everything: A gold-digging Marilyn Monroe, fucking amazing costumes, and songs devoted to attractive Olympic players( I Enjoy What Im Doing( When Im Doing It For Love )) and how diamonds are better than humankinds( Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend ). Since the musical came out in 1952, break away the oldest wine-colored in your kitchen, aka the one you bought last week and forgot about until now. Just don’t attempt any at-home color occupations, however strong the exhort may be.
If you’re not masochistic enough to watch a horror movie by yourself but youre still pissed at being alone on Valentines Day, you can get out that aggressivenes with a horror-comedy like
your making love . There’s a lot of blood onscreen, which they are able to equal by drinking a dark red wine like Tempranillo.
Normally, I would never condone watching pretentious indie films because that’s for monstrosities who went to movie institution and thrive out their armpit mane. That being said, is a movie about a prostitute weeping through Los Angeles in search of her pimp/ boyfriend who cheated on her when she was in jail. Its likewise given during Christmas. Motive I say more? No. To go with a movie whose proposition is this goody, you need the girliest of all wine-coloreds: ros.
11.+ Wine Cooler
I have tragic report. The 90 s classic, which obliged 90 s girlfriends everywhere believe in the supremacy of charity with your step brother( and more importantly, way ), is leaving Netflix on Feb. 28. Since you cant actually be with eventual DILF Paul Rudd on Valentines Day, the next best event is to watch all nighttime. Of direction, any movie set at a high school in the 90 s deserves a throwbacktime to break out the wine jugs you affection when you were 16.
It sounds like something I just made up, but I promise this is literally real. Bless Netflix for gifting us with 45 minutes of puppies being treasured. Watch in bunk, clutching a bottle of Riesling, then holler yourself to sleep.
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